Allow me to try and translate this into more understandable English terms.
Dear free players and people who pay us,
We don't know how the hell to solve the bot problem.
Since the beginning of time (or At the beginning of the war), even before Free Trade and the Wilderness were taken out of the game, we tried really hard and said we would solve this...and we failed epically. Over the last few months we have done some stuff to try and defeat bots, but again we have failed. Also, we can't tell you what these things are since we don't want more people botting...but trust us, we are trying really, really, really hard.
The problem is we can't beat the bots and it continues to make the game suck even more with the addition of more bots everyday.
We want to tell you were are making every possible effort (even though we aren't really, it just sounds better than saying we keep failing). In an attempt to regain your trust and quiet you nay-sayers, here's a list of stuff we are trying, but that's not really helping at all:
- This is working towards more the idea we had intended in the first place of a "police state" game where we monitor everything and even ban people who we mistakenly think are cheating rather than worrying about obvious bots. We now actually notice when people are spamming and mute them on the spot. We noticed before and thought about doing something, but we choose to just wait until enough of you complained to us to do something about. We have enough work as it is you know...making money and not turning out lots of updates at a clip in addition to failing to solve the bot problem. Lots of work. Reporting isn't very helpful, but keep doing it anyway cause at least one report of every million gets noticed.
- Trying to go through the courts to get at bot makers, but it's a pain in the butt and not really getting anywhere too soon. Wouldn't really solve the problem anyhow.
- Mandatory email validation just is an extra step to creating an account. Not really hard to do, but at least we can get those lazy gold farmers who don't want to make lots of email accounts.
We plan to try more stuff soon and we might tell you about these as we go. They'll probably fail just like the other things we did, but at least you can see we are trying, and that's what matters, right? Following are last statement, we won't tell you what the soonest thing we are going to do is nor hint at what it might be. Communication sucks on our end, and we'll try better, but don't get your hopes up.
While we put our worst foot forward and sometimes catch bots, we can't stop people from farming. It's pointless to try because that would just dip into our profits more. Rest assured, we have learned something in this entire process.
We cannot win this battle...ever. But you will still play our game if you think we are trying or just because you don't mind the botting problem too greatly yet.What can you try to do to supposedly solve the bot problem? First, keep ranting at us, but more politely. We don't like being yelled at. We are very sensitive people. We will listen to how you think bots affect the game (even though we already know how) to show that we do indeed listen. Action is something else and costs extra. Listening is free especially since that's all our interns do.
We want to create an entirely new part of the forums directly related to bots. We will call it "The Bot Rant Forum." It's a place you can go to yell and yell to your hearts content where none of our staff will check to see what is being said. It will kind of be like a sandbox for ranters where parents are entirely absent. We will let you know when this forum is made so you can start ranting at the top of your lungs to the empty sky above you. I even came up with this nifty play on an excerpt from a quote from Watchmen that describes the kind of activity that will take place in this forum. "...and all the free players and members will shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."" Well, we won't completely copy Watchmen. Instead of whispering "no," we just won't say anything as if we didn't even exist or were aware of the problem.
We hope again that you and your friends will try in vain to combat bots cause your efforts are free and cheap and work better than our attempts. So keep trying and we might get somewhere..
And as if we should say this, we ask that you refrain from using bots yourselves or get your gold from people like this. We know you don't mean to support them, you just want to get ahead. We all can understand that. And really, if no one went to gold farmers, botting wouldn't exist (except on individual accounts rather than on a mass scale for profit). Those bots would still exist. As was so eloquently put in a recent post on Tip.it that I randomly Googled since we don't actually read forums ourselves unless need be “Blah blah blah Jagex tries hard, but it's the players who should deal with the problem not Jagex even though it's their game”. The player went on to say, “By not trying to get ahead or getting gold by working for it is the only way we can solve the gold farming problem. Botting will still exist and I don't know what we can do about that. So let's just follow the rules, dudes, and everyone will be happy. Rules are meant to be followed and while we can't force people to follow them, we should certainly try to convince them to follow them. JAG3X RULEZZ!!!” We wholeheartedly agree with this statement and think you players need to try hard to solve this problem to alleviate some of our workload.
We are committed to making money while doing as little work as possible. We are more committed to providing excuses as to why we cannot solve this problem so you can understand our plight and agree that we try hard. We are committed to making you try to win this war since we can't figure out how, yet still take the credit if it is solved by you guys.
The most important thing to take away from this article is this: we are committed to dishing out the smallest and fewest number of updates for the greatest profit and to keeping you guys happy mostly enough and long enough to make even more money.
Thanks for giving us all your monies even though we have never solved botting nor will we ever,
Daniel Clough
Really important dude who drew the short straw of writing up this article even though Mark Gerhard or Andrew Gower should have written it up.
(Also, I get the cool title of Vice President of RuneScape)I like my interpretation better personally. On a serious note, this just means they don't know what the hell they are doing, nor have they ever truly known what they were doing when it came to bots. Nice try Jagex, but you get no sympathy from me.