The beach is back with cocktails and new outfits. We share our favourites. It’s also a combat bonanza featuring new bank presets, scrimshaws, and the ability to Cease. Then it’s documentary time when it comes to Elder God Wars requirements.

Download Now
Direct Download – 64 Kbit MP3 (Full Show Notes)

Join us in-game at Friends’ Chat: BitsBytes, Follow us on Twitter @rsbandb, Join our Discord: rsbandb.com/discord
A Special Thanks to Our Patreon Supporters

  • Andrew C
  • Arvīds L
  • Brock H
  • Cgb 900
  • Christian S
  • Chunkthemunk
  • Cook Me Plox
  • Danny C
  • Diana
  • DramaFreee
  • DreamDelayed
  • Durhamax
  • Jade Gizmo
  • Jason S
  • Kesky
  • LuckyDucky
  • N8 the grr8
  • Naura
  • Pyrnassius RS
  • Rastafa
  • Ren Hawk
  • Ricky A
  • Samuel F L
  • Scott D S
  • Soupfinder
  • Stobbeve
  • The Bears O.P.
  • The Naked Captain
  • TheLion
  • Tom V
  • Zant

Hosts: Shane and Cireon
Duration: 1:50:00

The next part in the Relomia series came out this week. For those who don't know, Relomia is the emissary of Sliske who has suddenly become a sort of rival for us as adventurers, and is doing a number of things to try to discredit us and take our glory. Such measures include messing with our identity and proactively trying to humiliate us. Which, as a concept, is pretty hilarious given all the other intense types of quests we've had to go through. We are currently questing a war against the Elder Gods, have fought pirates, ninjas, zombies, and dragons, chilled with Gods, beat up other Gods, and are currently fist-bumping a dragonkin to help save an entire freakin' planet outside our own.

So, the fact that we have a jealous fangirl trying to hog the glory about us retrieving the bloomin' Silverlight is just hilarious in comparison. And that's great; I love it when quests utilize the scale of things to invoke a sort of parody with the idea of questing itself.

Which brings us to this quest. After being messed with a couple of times, we decided we're actually going on the offense with Relomia. Of course, we could kill her in this epic battle to annihilate her, but the way things have been playing out, we're actually starting to get to know her a little more. She's a fangirl and wants our fame because it was just how she grew up. Little to no self-confidence and all sorts of jealousy against those who flaunt their power and status (Ozan...). So, instead, we're going to give her a win to help give her a taste of true fame.

By creating a quest of our own to send her through!

Those of you who remember Philipe's quest, it saw us enter a dungeon with Xenia and outfit the place with traps and guards and a final boss for our aspiring young adventurer to go through. Such things were... improvised at best, and there were multiple times where things were either broken or bypassed in rather hilarious ways because of our character's inability to actually stage a quest of their own.

This time, and spoiler alert, was no different. In fact, it was even worse,

We had Death himself give Relomia the task of retrieving a stolen artifact from a bunch of bad guys, infiltrating a fortress and using stealth to sneak past them in an epic heist quest. ... of course, I say fortress, but I mean the forest right behind Death's hourglass, and I say bad guys, but I mean scarecrows. And I say stolen, but the sword's actually placed literally within double-surge distance. It's... it's just comical how ridiculous this quest is.

And as per the formula, things go... actually pretty well, all things considered. Relomia realizes they are scarecrows right off the bat, but satisfies herself by obliterating them. We get to the artifact, but then to our surprise, Closure takes control of us and plays out that we the adventurer were the thieves the whole time, and we are pitted against Relomia in a battle. Which, and this was a stroke of brilliance, we were meant to lose and realized it on the spot because A: we were stripped of our equipment and food to begin, and B: death makes a note to say that it's a "safe" quest, meaning we are allowed to die, even though we knew there were no enemies actually involved.

Does it work? ... we actually don't know. Relomia states that it actually made her feel better, but... well, a few other things happened during the quest that may come back to plague us later. She hit us with a new wand of hers, which she hinted may have done more than knocked us back after we were momentarily mind-controlled, only to discover it was Closure's doing instead of hers. It's definitely not concluded the questline, but it feels like we're taking a step in the right direction. In the next one, we might end up doing an actual quest alongside her.

So, let's talk about this for a second. Why on Earth did this quest happen?

I mean, first off; the quest creation aspect of this particular quest itself. It was nice of our character to go for such a gesture, but we had options available. Much, much better options. Rather than three scarecrows and an iron sword in a forest, we could've done so many other things. We could've taken her to God Wars (bit of irony fighting Gregorovic with her), gone Dungeoneering with her, escorted her to Burntmeat so they could exchange tips for trolling everybody. Could've even paired her up with Philipe and had the two of them go off exploring.

Second off, examining our current relationship with the character Relomia. She's not a signature hero or anything; she's pretty much been played out as a sort of side-note character in the main questline. Sliske's Endgame sort of ended with an interesting relationship between our character and Relomia. Supposedly she was originally 'saved' by Sliske, which caused her to pledge allegiance and become his emissary, and it hints that this hasn't changed even after delivering the news of his demise via the Staff of Armadyl. By all accounts, we've kinda fused with Sliske (the light and dark masks in the Elder Gods quests hint at this), which she has no doubt realized, and thus one would imagine that we are now her greatest ally. However, during this questline, it's sort of establishing that Sliske's control over her had been thwarted and she's acting on her own devices, which is pretty much against us. Doesn't make much sense.

Third, the whole point of this quest series is playing around with Runescape's questing past; older quest lines keep on getting brought up to the point that we are literally reliving them in slightly altered formats and interacting with long-past pivotal characters. For example, we actually interact with Elvarg post-quest and help her out. Bit of a mind-blow there. For such a type of blast-from-the-past, it's rather odd that it's focusing on a relatively recent character like Relomia and not somebody like Hans, or Merlin, or even Ernest (the former chicken). Ernest especially, because he's an adventuring type who gets himself into trouble; he'd be perfect for that role because of his screw-up and resulting jealousy of us coupled with the fact that despite him starring in a quest, we really don't get much context off of him, leaving him as a familiar blank slate that could be molded into such a role.

So despite all this, why are we doing all these weird call-back quests with Relomia, who really shouldn't even be a bad guy to us?

We don't know yet. And that's the whole point. This quest is all build-up to something that's going to happen later on in the Elder Gods series. This mini-quest series is a secondary form of hype that is tying these old quests together a bit and making the entire thing feel like an enormous build-up. That the entire game of Runescape was building up to this point, and we are about to enter the climactic center of the world's storyline.

This mini-series is advertising that Runescape's story is gradually coming to a close.

Pretty surprising, isn't it? I mean, this is kinda what everything's been building up to. We're saving the world, all the quests and the Gods and everything is all coming together and duking it out. There will be death, and Gods will be taken down, and when the dust settles, what will remain? Naturally, us; we've got all those stats and bank riches. No way that we don't survive the events that follow. But what about everything else? Would Lumbridge still be a castle town? Would we still have the Runescape Gods? Will cannons still be a viable method for agroing Dark Beasts? The possibilities are endless!

Does this mean the end of Runescape as a game? No, of course not; that'd just be silly. Where one story ends, another will begin.

Until next time,

Cheers, cannoneers!


The original Barrows brothers bosses were released on the ninth of May in 2005. Upon release, they provided the game with six powerful sets of armour. These armour sets had revolutionary secondary effects when wearing the full set. For years these sets were so popular among the masses, that when talking about Castle Wars, my first memory is wearing full Ahrim's and a whip for ultimate barraging. Youtube was filled with Dharok max hit videos and Guthan's was used for AFK combat skilling and Fight Caves endurance. But we’re not here to talk about the origins of the game update. We’re here to talk about the lore behind these six brothers.

It was the Third Age; in Morytania, the situation was dire. Vampyre Lord Drakan had conquered Hallowvale with his vampyre army. In order to retake Hallowvale, Saradominist kingdoms west of Morytania formed a crusading army. This army consisted out of thousands of Saradominist forces and mercenaries.  This army needed strong leadership. The six newly enrolled warriors were the perfect candidates. They were strong, cunning and had very strong armour. But before we get to the war, let's go back a little bit further.

In a small village, six farmer brothers lived their lives together. The handsome Guthan was madly in love with the beautiful Isolde and she was in love with him. However, a jealous Ahrim also fancied Isolde. Ahrim went to confront Isolde and called her an idolator. Claiming to protect his brother Guthan from this idolator, he killed her. Not being able to find Isolde, Guthan thought she left him. He went to the bar and had one or two drinks too many. In his grievance he got in a bar brawl with Commander Jaycliff and killed him. The commander was a Saradominist leader and Guthan was scared for retribution if they ever found out, it was he who killed the commander. He went out to seek help from Sliske, the friendly and helpful Zarosian Mahjarrat. Sliske tasked Guthan with persuading his other brothers to join the Saradominist crusade. He also provided the six brothers with power, armour and weapons. Guthan agreed and escaped from his sins. Though not every brother was easily persuaded, Torag was going to join the crusade on his own accord already. Eventually they all agreed and led the grand Saradominist army.

The crusade was a success as they won battle after battle. The six brothers combined were near unbeatable and they moved towards Darkmeyer at a much higher pace than expected. However, something felt wrong as the soldiers noticed a mysterious stranger watching their campaign. This stranger was of course Sliske. Upon reaching the last stronghold of Darkmeyer, Sliske had had enough. He spoke to the brothers and commended their efforts to please their god Saradomin. It was time, however: the brothers would now fight for Sliske and serve his god, Zaros. Sliske infected the six brothers and they died to their illness. The six champions of the army passed away right before the final battle. This caused complete disarray in the crusading army, resulting in a complete annihilation of the Saradominist forces. While having suffered considerably losses, Lord Drakan was victorious and remained ruler of Hallowvale.

The passed brothers were buried in what we now know as the Barrows. Here, Sliske cursed their graves and revived them as his personal wights. Tasked by Azzanadra, Sliske hid a secret artifact in the Barrows and left the brothers there to guard it. This artifact was later used to make contact with the banished Zaros.

While the main story is about Ahrim being a bad brother and Guthan making a deal with Sliske, the other brothers also have a background story. Dharok used to be a big bully when he was a farmer, preying on the weak. That's quite fitting for the most dangerous brother, still killing new hardcore ironmen to this day. The flail swinging brother Verac had an even darker secret. While he never acted on it, he secretly worshipped Zamorak, the very god they were fighting against. According to Sliske, the brothers Torag and Karil also had their secrets, but since we didn’t play according to Sliske’s rules, we never found out what those secrets were. I personally believe that their secrets would be even darker than what we’ve heard so far. I believe this is the case because Sliske likes grand finales and because Torag and Karil are arguably the strongest brothers in their hard mode version: Rise of the Six. Karil’s bomb attack is dark enough already, but somehow he can also spawn lightning.

This concludes the tenth chapter of Forgotten Lore. After this point, the Barrows brothers finally met with the World Guardian, who would eventually free them from Sliske’s control, only to then kill them for over 4000 times to complete a collection log. However, it’s probably best to save this part of the story for when we finally decide to release our 50+ chapter special about Sliske.


Fun fact: In the lorebook “Fall of the Six”, they mention the strength of the brothers. By themselves they’re already really powerful, but they truly shine when fighting together. In the Rise of the Six boss fight you can experience this first hand. Alone, their mechanics are strong, but quite easy to deal with. Combined, their mechanics can truly destroy a team. Example: a Torag stun into Karil lightning or a melee brother spin results into death.

We delve into the latest chapter of Once Upon a Time: Fortunes. Relomia’s character begins to take shape and we question where she may show up in the future. Also, just what is up with emerald bolts? We explain why you should give them another look.

Download Now
Direct Download – 64 Kbit MP3 (Full Show Notes)

Join us in-game at Friends’ Chat: BitsBytes, Follow us on Twitter @rsbandb, Join our Discord: rsbandb.com/discord
A Special Thanks to Our Patreon Supporters

  • Andrew C
  • Arvīds L
  • Brock H
  • Cgb 900
  • Christian S
  • Chunkthemunk
  • Cook Me Plox
  • Danny C
  • Diana
  • DramaFreee
  • DreamDelayed
  • Durhamax
  • Jade Gizmo
  • Jason S
  • Kesky
  • LuckyDucky
  • N8 the grr8
  • Naura
  • Pyrnassius RS
  • Rastafa
  • Ren Hawk
  • Ricky A
  • Samuel F L
  • Scott D S
  • Soupfinder
  • Stobbeve
  • The Bears O.P.
  • The Naked Captain
  • TheLion
  • Tom V
  • Zant

Hosts: Shane, Tanis, and Thaxy
Duration: 2:06:50

Ninja Strike 23 is truly legendary allowing us to do what we’ve wanted for years. There are also changes that are much needed for people with big fingers. Then we discuss the economics of ancient magicks, fire, and water.

Download Now
Direct Download – 64 Kbit MP3 (Full Show Notes)

Join us in-game at Friends’ Chat: BitsBytes, Follow us on Twitter @rsbandb, Join our Discord: rsbandb.com/discord
A Special Thanks to Our Patreon Supporters

  • Andrew C
  • Arvīds L
  • Brock H
  • Cameron
  • Cgb 900
  • Christian S
  • Chunkthemunk
  • Cook Me Plox
  • Danny C
  • Diana
  • DramaFreee
  • DreamDelayed
  • Durhamax
  • Dusty P
  • Gylefleur
  • Jade Gizmo
  • Jason S
  • Jim M
  • Kevin G
  • LuckyDucky
  • Malinoric
  • N8 the grr8
  • Naura
  • Pyrnassius RS
  • Rastafa
  • Ren Hawk
  • Ricky A
  • Scott D S
  • Soupfinder
  • Stobbeve
  • TANNER J W
  • The Bears O.P.
  • The Naked Captain
  • TheLion
  • Tom V
  • Vinni
  • Zant

Hosts: Shane and Tanis
Duration: 1:40:30