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 Post subject: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 2:10 am 
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Okay, so this is something I've not told anyone until just now.

I'm kinda becoming an Atheist. I was taught to believe in God when I was a kid, and that if I didn't, I'd get in trouble or possibly even go to hell. I don't really believe in God or anything right now, and I'm not praying anymore, at all. Everything I've asked from God doesn't come true, so I'm definitely questioning if God exists. Now, I know that it's really not that big of a deal, but this isn't about me becoming Atheist or not. It's about me telling my mother.

Now, before I ask you guys for help, I want to explain something about my family. Especially my mother. My Grandfather was an Altar Boy when he was a kid, and he told me a bunch of stories about God and Jesus. I'm really scared about how he'll react to this, but this isn't for this topic. Now for my mother, she's a very religious person. She has a plaque in my house that says "Strength comes from believing in God." She got me a bible two Christmases ago, and it is no longer mine, it's hers.

I'm afraid on how she'll react about this. I've heard some stories about how parents have reacted when their kids tell them they no longer believe in God, or are no longer religious. I'm afraid she'll also get angry like some of those parents did. So, I'm asking you all on a way to tell my mom about me no longer believing in God.

Thanks in advance.
Steven

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 Post subject: Register and login to get these in-post ads to disappear
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 2:10 am 
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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 3:48 am 
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It's not like theres any other way to tell her than just saying it. With that said i don't see why it needs to be said, I don't ever recall having the discussion with my mother..free to believe what i like. So are you.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 4:18 am 
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My uncle is a priest and my grandparents believe in God a tad too much if you ask me.

Still nobody's complained about my atheism. Why is that? I've never told anyone. Well I'm sure my family knows, thanks to my sarcastic commentary that does frequently question the existence of God... But they don't care. I don't think they believe in God really either.

So I don't see why you have to tell it at all.

Or if you really feel like you should tell it, then I suggest that you take a "****" stance.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 5:34 am 
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I suggest you weigh your options.

Tell her: your mother possibly becomes distraught and unable to accept her son's newfound atheism, ultimately resulting in you being disowned by the family. You admit what you had to... but being outcast from the family kind of ruins that sense of accomplishment.

Don't tell her: nothing happens, you continue to live a prosperous life with a peaceful relationship between you and your mother. On the other hand you are bothered every now and then by the little voice in the back of your head that tells you you're not being true to yourself.

I think because this is an issue your family may not be all too pleased about, it's a lot safer and easier to just keep quiet. There's no harm in keeping up appearances is there? Of course I also believe it's very wrong that they would not accept you for who you are, regardless of your beliefs; which is a disappointing factor indeed, but as long as you can keep a secret then it doesn't have to be their business.

I'm going to admit though that I cannot relate with you in the same way. My parents raised and encouraged me to be as open minded as possible; my father has his own beliefs and my mother is universally impartial much like I am currently. It wouldn't be nearly the same explaining to them what you want to explain to your family. Even if my parents did care, we don't practice any religious acts such as prayer or churchgoing, so it wouldn't change anything. Religion is not important to me because I think there are more significant things to worry about as a child - one of those things being relationships, that specifically I do not want to be affected by religion - and hence I still have not entirely made up my mind with my views on the subject (and am in no hurry to). My point being that I'm not even sure what I believe at this stage of my life, much less my parents' knowledge of it. Additionally after I've made up my mind they still don't need to know because what I believe is what I believe, and that should not matter to anyone else.

TL;DR That made little sense but similarly you should not need to tell your family anything and I think it would be a good idea to merely continue current practices for appearances' sake.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 5:49 am 
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ever considered the middle path? religions aren't "right and wrong." well actually they're probably all wrong, but its still ok to believe something. its called agnosticism. it boils down to believing there is some kind of god or gods, but only going as far as to say they exist and you thank them for what part they played in creating and looking over life on earth. its not really a religion. its just a term for people who fit the description. i consider myself agnostic, but i havent' told my parents because they'd probably freak over something so little, and i can still go to a lutheran church every so often and appreciate some parts of it, and laugh on the inside at the silly parts.

formal religions are on the downfall. faith is good, and religion is good for that, but people are starting to see the lack of logic in many parts of religion and adapt. (blame science :D ) that doesn't make you wrong for whatever religion you practice, its the same as it always has been. everyone is just different.

in short: think carefully before you decide you flat out don't believe in any "higher power." and probably just hide your religious standing till you think its really important to make it known.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 11:56 am 
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I can empathize with you.
I grew up the same, my grandfather prayed the rosary every day, mom went to church every week.
but in recent months I became agnostic. (accepting the fact that their may or may not be a god)
I still haven't told anyone in my family, but the only thing i can tell you is to keep it a secret until you can find away to make them understand why you feel that way.

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 Post subject: Register and login to get these in-post ads to disappear
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 11:56 am 
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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 12:39 pm 
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Think about what you're doing, Steven.

Being a Christian myself, I've realized the benefits. If Christians are right, we go to heaven, and the evolutionists don't. If the evolutionists are right, nothing happens to either of us. So why risk it?

I know I'm going to get flak for this, so I'll go in to detail on XBL later.

Reconsider this, bro


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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 1:00 pm 
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Dokter Bob wrote:
Think about what you're doing, Steven.

Being a Christian myself, I've realized the benefits. If Christians are right, we go to heaven, and the evolutionists don't. If the evolutionists are right, nothing happens to either of us. So why risk it?

I know I'm going to get flak for this, so I'll go in to detail on XBL later.

Reconsider this, bro

No offence but you have a biased opinion. If he's turned atheist, it's because he doesn't believe in God and he doesn't believe in going to heaven he is 'right'.
What I think is pretty much what Snake said. Either you tell your mum and risk her getting angry or you hold it in and keep the relationship steady.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 1:03 pm 
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Dokter Bob wrote:
Being a Christian myself, I've realized the benefits. If Christians are right, we go to heaven, and the evolutionists don't. If the evolutionists are right, nothing happens to either of us. So why risk it?

I know I'm going to get flak for this, so I'll go in to detail on XBL later.

Sorry, that made me rofl. I think you realised you were going to get a lot of "flak" for saying that because you knew that admitting to believing in a religion out of convenience is absurd at best.

I think Pfk's advice is the best on here. You have way more to lose by telling her than by not.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 2:16 pm 
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Dokter Bob wrote:
Think about what you're doing, Steven.

Being a Christian myself, I've realized the benefits. If Christians are right, we go to heaven, and the evolutionists don't. If the evolutionists are right, nothing happens to either of us. So why risk it?

I know I'm going to get flak for this, so I'll go in to detail on XBL later.

Reconsider this, bro

Yes, but along with that you live in constant fear for going to hell.

And also just the chance of going to heaven isn't a reason to lie to yourself. Living like that would be horrible and it'd be of no use anyway since - apparently - God wouldn't be fooled like that.

You can't just snap your fingers and decide "hey, I'm going to believe in this now!"

Mushroom Queen wrote:
I think Pfk's advice is the best on here. You have way more to lose by telling her than by not.


Pfk? :-s He didn't even post in this thread...

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 3:44 pm 
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I think she was referring to Chief. They both have the mod rank image and I sometimes get them confused also.

And Slimppu, I'd just like to clarify that if you believe in Christ and heaven then there is no fear of death.

We're all free to believe what we want, and there's no reason to flaunt it over people as some misguided 'believers' do or how some atheists do (I'm not trying to be offensive here, I've seen both sides go overboard about their belief standings).

There's no need to tell her. If she's a true Christian she'll be disappointed and still want you to believe, but she'll understand and let you make your own decision. In the end the choice to believe is a personal decision. If you 'believe' just because your parents or family did then you're missing the point and aren't believing the truth behind their belief.

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 4:32 pm 
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There is no real point in keeping it from her. Tell her, it is your decesion. Just a few questions- How old are you? and do you live in her house?

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 4:42 pm 
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Well, here's what i think.

I think that you can beleive in whatever you want, regardless of what your parents say. If they get angry with you because you beleive in something else, they really should respect you for what you beleive in because. thats what parents should do =)

cheers, dafin0 :D

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 Post subject: Re: I really need some help.
PostPosted: May 4th, 2009, 10:11 pm 
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Well, I've considered what Chief has said, and I suppose I'll just keep it to myself.

I don't think my mom would go as far as disowning me, or kicking me out of the house. I just think that she would get angry, is all.

Thanks again for your help, everyone.

You don't have to lock the thread, but there's really no discussion value about me and my problem.

Well yeah.. I was exaggerating a little there. :P My post began as sarcastic and then progressively became more serious. XD -Chief

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