Take A Look In The Mirror, And What Do You See?

Day in and day out we live our lives, unaware of the hundreds of people we see every day. But what exactly does each and every one of us have in common? It goes way beyond the similarities of DNA. We, unlike most other mammals, have feelings.

Everyday we communicate with hundreds of different people, through sight, sound, sometimes even smell. (rarely taste but you never know).

When we start to realise how many people we actually know, and how many people we communicate with everyday. We start to forget about what we say, and how others may interperate our words and actions. And after hearing of a few instances where I believe this has gone a tad too far, I think it is time we remembered exactly how people react to certain things, and why we sometimes have to give in, even if we are not necessarily wrong.

Sometimes its hard to admit you're wrong, and to take a fall. But quite regularly, the only way to keep a strong relationship with a person, is to give in from time to time. This doesn't mean that you have to say that they are right and you are wrong though, it can simply be a compromise. Try to find a solution that satisfies both arguements, without resorting to petty things such as name-calling or a shouting match.

Arguements and Disagreements are human nature. I cannot deny the fact that someone, somewhere is going to disagree completely with the way I feel about more or less everything. If I were to meet them, I would try to put my point across, however, since they believe the exact opposite to me, it will most likely not make a difference whatever I say.

This is where my title comes into this post.

If you have ever/are ever in a position where an arguement is likely to occur, think for one or two seconds. "What am I wanting to achieve out of this? A solution? Or to be right?". There is a lot of difference.

Face yourself in the mirror. It is your exact opposite, try to imagine that as another person, perhaps someone you have argued, or talked to recently which had an outcome that neither of you wanted. Think back to what you said which could have made the situation worse, and what you could have done to make it better.

Now,

Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. If someone else said to you, something that you said to them - how would you react? What would you say?

I don't want to hear "I would completely agree". Because lets face it, no-one agrees completely with anyone unless you are trying to mask your true feelings, which is something that you shouldnt do.

Once you find that what you may or may not have said in the past has destroyed a relationship between you and someone else, you will start to see inside the mirror.

So, take a look in the mirror... how do you see yourself now? Knowing that there are hundreds, possibly thousands of different interpretations of you. Know that you caused each and every one of them, and know that you can CHANGE them too.


This post has a hidden message, I wont say who it is for and I wont say what it is. But what I will say, is that If you read it, I think you should read it again, and take it to heart.

Finally, something interesting to talk about. I have took in your points of view and agree in pretty much all cases.

Answer me this though, is this directed towards me and someone else i've recently "argued" with?.. If so i wont even make a big deal out of it..

Also if it is, then i must say, they need to read this for when the whole situation and arguement started, and they might find that it was them that caused and started all this mess..

If your post is not about me, forget most of what i just said. I now and then have disagreements and very small arguements with my fiance Tracey. Now and then she or i might say or do something wrong that hurts the other or makes one of us disagree. We always work things out, i always admit me being wrong when i am. I always try to resolve the situation. This only brings us closer and makes us stronger. Our love grows more and more.

There have been a few times in my life i have said hurtfull things, like almost every single person in the world has. I regret some things i say, because i've in the end got the same thing back 3xfold. Then i would know how they felt, the person or persons i offended or hurt.

In most cases, people say hurtfull things, without even meaning it or realizing it. But there are some people out there recently that dont come to a resolve, they think that they are right, that everyone else was and is against them and has disrespected them. Im not perfect and im not saying that i have always got the upmost respect for everyone. But i never literally look in the mirror, i just look at the situation and try to resolve it. But there are cases where you cant, because the other person is so convinced that they are right. They also tend to get there little "buddies" involved and spread crap around.

Most of the time when im in an arguement, i usually want to achieve a solution, not to be right. But unfortunately, with recent cases, i cant resolve the arguement because of 2 faced liars that resolve to spreading crap around and getting "there little buddies ("unit") involved.

Conclusion: Arguements are a means to vent, and have our say, most people just want to be right, if they arent right, and know it, they usually dont like it. Not all fights can even be resolved, people act and say hurtfull things and end up making the situation worse. They dont sit there and think, hey maybe im wrong, maybe i was the cause of this, and blowing this way our of proportion. Most of all, they dont realize how they hurt the other person. Before you say it, put yourself in the persons shoes, and see how you would feel if that was being said to you.

Hope this makes any sense

I posted a reply here earlier but it was right before the forums went offline for a few minutes and my post was lost. Lets see if I can remember what I had said.

You covered a lot of very interesting points in that passage. Very well written. I enjoyed it. It is always good to look into someone else's side of something, take a step into their shoes, when you are arguing over something. Often after I have been in an argument I just feel like pulling out a gun and shooting the other person, even if its someone I loved such as family member, gf, ect... But then when I have calmed down I think sometimes take the time to think it over again when they are not there. Sometimes I realize how stupid I was taking part in the argument, or sometimes what we were arguing over or what side I was on. Its interesting sometimes what kind of conclusions I come up with. Then when I go back to the person to appoligize the kind of things they have to say about it also.

Thanks for brining this topic up. This was one of the first very interesting topics here for a while now. If I think of anything else I will surley add it to this post.

I see a guy with nice hairs. On his head. Oo arr.

I don't think you are looking deeply enough.


Some people need to understand they can't control everything, and when they try to control the people they are closest to, whether it be sexual or a friendship, the relationship starts to deteiorate usually without them knowing.

(I don't mean to sound harsh/angry or seem like I'm attacking in the next passage)

However, If you do know that a relationship between two people, possibly more, is falling apart, and causing a tension and start of a much bigger problem - for gods sake, sort it out. Arguements of this kind are usually based around something immature, like idk... obsessiveness. Try to be more adult about the situation and resolve it, so that everyone's happy and no-one needs to get angry or hurt.

After all, we, at rsbandb are a community, if something along the lines of what I've said happened here - I'd hope that it was sorted out, not left to progress into something much worse and damaging to the community. Things can appear small at first, but think, when you see into the mirror, thats only one persons perception of you - in real life, there are hundreds of thousands. One bad seed quickly grows into a tree of destruction.

Yeah.. I've seen it around the forums...

Still, maybe I was too late with this topic, I should have posted say, about a week ago, instead of last night.

arghh. I wish more people could see into the mirror, would mean everyone would get on a lot more - instead of the people who take a hammer to the mirror, shattering it, and crushing the shards that hit the ground.

Sometimes, I guess there is no way to repair the damage, kind of like throwing a frozen turkey through an old womans window.

That's the most interesting thing I have read in a long time. This probably relates to me a tad more than others, being in the lower age group of RSB&B. I regret a lot of things I say, but usually I notice right after I say it and think, "Oh ****, why did I say that?". Generally everything gets resolved quickly, and it's only on a rare occasion when that does happen. Nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes. It's just when someone deliberately makes those 'mistakes' over and over again that I get really annoyed.

Other people just seem to be born like that, and probably won't be able to resolve these issues till they are 30 years old or more... They don't care what anyone else thinks, they say whatever they want. They just downright annoy people, which really starts to get to you after a few years.

On other occasions, people take things far too seriously, or take things the wrong way. These sensitive people, I am hoping, will grow up and their sensitive attributes will fade with them.

But really I just want everyone to look in the mirror because I think we need a bit of reminding that other people have feelings too... and with saying that I've just realised I've repeated most of the stuff you guys have said.

Devin, absolutely right, I hate that pointless "gangster style". "Bling" seems to be "all the rage" here...

I'm currently at peace with the world but I'll keep your advice in mind if something comes up, much as I doubt looking in a mirror will help.