my noob thread in the rs forum was such a big hit, i wanted to share. here ya go
(basic intro)
Quote:
It has come to my attention within the last 2 threads that people hate my thread because of the fact that we use the word "noob" automaticly EVERYBODY who flamed my thread were people who by just seeing the word "noob" and assume that we are talking about level 3 players.
i beg of you, at least read the post before you start complaining. 90% of the most here are about noobs who
1. attempt to pass scamming
2. regular scamming
3. just being plain annoying
do not just assume we are talking about noobs.
and if you do not like us using the word "noob" in this thread than do not post. it's that simple. you don't see me going to other people's thread saying "noobs are annoying and anybody who defends them are noobs themselves".
please do not flame thank you and have a nice day
noob: nice phat
me (wearing blue mask): its not a phat
noob: o what is it then?
me : mask
noob so if its not a phat what is itme: a masknoob: what kind of mask
me : a blue mask...
noob: thats it?
me yes...
noob: are you sure?
me cooking sharks
noob: where you get feathers?
me: kill chickens
noob: how i make it into a hat
me: you dont
noob: how do you wear it
me: (wearing a chompy hat) its not a feather hat
noob: god damit! yes you are!
me: its a quest hat geez
noob: which one?
me: legends (lying haha )
noob: DAMIT!
i was tutoring in this middle school and about 1/4 of the kids on the computer were playing rs.well i was walking around and out of nowhere one of the kids says o he got banned for playing to long of course im like what??so i took a look.
i asked him where he saw that and says he saw white text.i told him he did not get banned, some guy was just playing around and how jagex does not ban people for playing too long.hes only in the 6th grade so ya know
noob : hey can you help me get the elf stone
me: which quest are you doing ( cuz there is waterfall and the other one)
noob:how sould i know which quest i'm doing!
offensive and just plain stupid.
(me fishing sharks)
noob: hey can i get sharks for free?
me : no i need them
(noob keeps pressing trade with me)
noob: come on
me: ignore
noob: keep fishing my FISHING SLAVE!
me: if you keep harrassing me i'm going to report you!
noob: fish for my fishing slave! ( hits trade like crazy)
me

kay i just reported you
noob: noo!!
rest is saying sorry blah blah blah
me: sorry doesn't cut it, i gave you a warning
noob: love the head piece where you get it do tell
me: (still wearing chompy hat)
me: chompy quest
noob: plz?
me: chompy quest
noob: plz tell me j1j2j3
me: i just did...
noob: will you?
me: i just told you where to get it
noob: ok
6 seconds later
noob: no you didnt!
noob:j1j2j3- plz tell me where u got the head piece
Me: i just did
fishermen1: what? the feather
noob: yes
fishermen2: he just did
noob: no
fishermen1: that comes from the chompy hunting
fishermen2: yeah
me: big chompy bird hunting quest!
me: what part of chompy quest dont you understand!!!
noob:o thx
here's one
over PM
noob: i'm going to report abuse
me: on what charges
noob: for item scamming
you all know where this is heading right
me: i'm not even going to bother with you. bye bye *block*
i was stealing seeds and i didn't feel like going through the whole " but if i give your my pas i'll get in trouble" stuff
here's one my friend wanted me to give his some magic runes for his new mage pure so i decided to play a little trick on the noobs there.
friend: may i have free stuff plz!!
me: hmm i dont know... will you work hard?
friend: yes i will!
me: well you look like it okay here
noob1: oooo can i have free stuff too
noob2 me too!
me: will you 2 work hard?
both: yes!
me: hmm i dont know you have to pass a test see this NPC (one of the new people in lumby weilding a magic stick)
me: this person needs help. if you can help him, he will give you some free stuff, just ask him
*they talk pm to friend*
me: my cue to leave

mods deserve their own post

Quote:
A1b
Forum Mod25 Apr 2005 22:28
I'm a player mod, so I get quite a few like this:
Newbie: what that crown by your name ab1
Me: The crown shows I'm a player mod.
Newbie: you work for gagex then
Me: No, player mods are normal players.
Newbie: reporting for staff imprsnaton
Quote:
Boideverou07 Forum Mod 05 Jun 2005 01:23
Level 82: Wc lvls?
Me: 7820123151.2151 =)
Level 82: Are you people illeterate, i asked a question
Me: Does that mean we have to answer?
Level 82: Dam noobs
Quote:
Maccaaccam
noob can you buy me a rune long
me no
noob why not
me cause you can buy it yourself
noob your a noob just buy me one
me no go away
noob ill report you for pessword scamming if you dont buy one for me
me how are you going to do that
noob well are you going to buy me one
me no
noob my pess word is fishsticks
me why did you tell me that
noob now ive reported you for pessword scamming
me or sure and walks away
noob logs off
5 mins later i see him again he had been hacker he was giving away all the noobs stuff lol
one strange thing about all this was i dont think he could even use a rune long he was level 32 i think
Quote:
Ravenvamp
noob: don't kill me plz
me:kk i won't (we were in monk place i was heailn from fight)
noob: ahhhhhhhhh u attack me
Me: leave me or i will
Noob: ahh run away
me: y
Noob: im a lv 99 mage
Me: zamorak is coming zamorak nears Zamorak makes noobs fear him.
Noob: i reported zamorak
me: ha ha noob
Quote:
Hunter21100
Im in canfis fighting wolfmen
A noob comes up to me and goes:
What do wolfmen drop?
Me:lvl 3 clue scrolls
Noob:can I have one?
Me:There not tradable
Noob:put one on the ground and ill pick it up
Me: sure(I stand in one spot for a few seconds so it looked like i was dropping the clue)
I dont drop the clue and 5 minutes later I go back to varrock.
The noob is still standing there...
Quote:
0strike0
I know some quiet funny noob tales they didnt happeen to me but im gonna say (me) cause i dont know the peoples names :]
Noob:how do i eat this bread?
Me:click on it, or right click then left click on eat
Me:(sees noob eat bread)
Noob:how do i get it back?
Quote:
Me: teleported to lumbridge
Me: see someone spawns
Noob: aww man that chicken killed me!
Me:HAHHAHAHHAHAHHA---
Quote:
Zero9xv
I went to a free world and...
noob1: I just sold my bro's phat!
noob2: for how much?
noob1: 25k! and its worth 100gp! ha ha
noob2: Nice
Quote:
afr0smasher
Me: *just walking along minding my own business*
noob: hey can I borrow your character for a minute?
Me: No! Yuo think I'd just give you my pass?
Noob: *long pause* ...yes
Me: Your crazy
Noob: No I'm not, I just need to borrow your character
Me: Why?
Noob: To do stuff
Me: What stuff?
Noob: quest stuff
Me: You know that even if I gave you my account and you beat a quest it doesn't count for you right?
Noob:... I want to give you free stuff, I'm a mod
Me: You're a level 23! And where's your crow***Noob: It in bank
Me: You don't understand do you?
Noob: Of course I know you ****!!
Me: I think it's about time we ended this little conversatio**Noob: I'm a mod and I'm gonna ban you!!!!!!
Me: *adds to ignore*
Quote:
Archer148
HILARIOUS ENCOUNTER!!!!
K I was in the lesser demon place in the karamja volcano with this lvl 54.
Me:Die!!!!(start wacking him with my rubber chick
Noob:Go away!!!!!stop killing me(runs out of lesser demon pit).
On karamja isle...
Me:I'm gonna kill you!!!
Noob:Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhh
!!!!!!!(he seriously thought i was gonna kill him(lol)!!!!!
It goes on for a while than he finally logs out
Quote:
Dark Mist
Noob:please free money someone told me coins were bad luck so i gave them away
Me(thoughts):why do you want more gp then
Quote:
Kimarhi 84
27 Apr 2005 19:49
This happened ages ago when i was level 15 and i love it when im the annoying person, lol)
(Noob picks up bread off ground)
Me: You have to wash your hands before you eat that
noob: y?
me: its been on ground, its dirty.
noob: where do i wash my hands?
me: u have to right click on a sink and click wash
noob: wheers the nearest sink?
me: Lumbridge
noob: can you take me there?
me: no
noob: awww (drops bread and goes away)
Quote:
Dragonmas855
me*in fally*
noob:whoa a mohawk how did u get that!!11
me:ummmm.....
noob:why doesnt guy in fally hairstlye store sell one???!
me:im special thats why
noob:im special to and ideserve one
me:yes u are*give him a bronze med helm*
noob:YAY I GOT A MOHAWK*he runs around fally saying mohawk weeeeeee im special*
next day
noob pms and tells me hey this isnt a mohawk u scammed me!
Quote:
Badboy999990
Ok here's a good one when I was lvl 68 acting very odd
Me:Nice Burger King hat *it was a lvl 53 with yellow phat*
Lvl 53:It's s phat...
Me:No it's a Burger King hat.Now can you tell me where the Burger King is
lvl 53:Yea, theres a Burger King in Catherby.
Me:*I walk to Catherby*
The same lvl 53 says,"It's Taco Tuesday at Burger King!!!"
Me:How much for a cheeseburger with a king hat???
Lvl 53:2.50$.Fries with that?
Me:Sure why not
Lvl 53:*Trades me puts up bread*Here's yer taco and king hat*he also put phat in trade...I put in 250gp...He takes away phat*
Me:Is there a bill?
Lvl 53:No now eat up
Hehe.
Quote:
Derek E30 May 2005 03:57
this is not a noobie storie ( well, mabe about me) but i feel like tellin this storie...
i walk into a bank. theres a million ppl in there. so i felt like pulling a prank on them.
Me:look its my pass! Castlewars.
1 moment, every1 is here. the next, the whole bank is solid empty.
couple minutes later every1 logs back in
almost every1: u noob! im reporting u!
me: for what?!?!
almost every1: for scamming us!
me: i didn't scam u though! its not like while u were gone i took all your stuff!
almost every1: yeah right!
(noobs...)
Quote:
Phantom14725
10 Jun 2005 16:27
ok.. so im only lvl 58... but i have a funny storie
im walking around in the lvl 40-48 wildy by the steel pl8 respawn and a bunch of lessers
a noob suddenly appears out of no where
immediatly, the noob is set apon by both lessers in the area and me.
noob: ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
me: get im boys!!
noob: stupid idiots!!
me: who are u talking to?
noob: those stupid guys that are both called "lesser demon"
( i stop attacking him.)
me: yeah, their my buddies we go pking in the wild, your our 5th victim today.
noob: im repoting them!!
me: who?
noob: These two lesser demon guys
me: go ahead
noob: i wont report you
me: why thanks, but may i ask why?
noob: you dont have the same name as them
me: so, let me get this straight, your going ot report them cause they have the same name?
( at this point in time the noob dies... i wait a while and he pms me)
noob: i reported them
me: thats great little dude
( put him on ignore list)
Quote:
Dansk8 13
13 Jun 2005 01:16
this happened a while ago like when rs2 started out
noob:what are you doing with a long sword like that?
me:(i was only 50 attk) its a r2h, im killing bugs and stuff
noob:wow is killing bugs fun?
me:not really
Quote:
Gtafemalefan
15 Jun 2005 19:05
this is short and my first noob report...
me: (having just got lvl 80 combat killin chickens(?!) holy cow!!! *in shock*
noob: where?
sorry but i couldnt stop laughing
*not sure if this is true but giving benefit of the doubt*
Quote:
Toby1009
20 Jun 2005 06:07
odd moment...
Me:Hi newb
newb: who u calling newb??
Me:you
Newb:my main is zezima
Me:ya right...
Newb:logs off
Zezima logs on next to me:wanna bet?
Me:holy sheet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!