I saw Bob wandering around Falador today, and seeing as I had my Amulet of Cat Speak handy, I thought I would record his words for your amusment. There are probably more than I have encountered, though, as it seems to go on forever. Feel free to post anymore conversations here, and I will give you credit. And while I'm at it, a small little poll relating to the subject.
I wonder..would this be important enough to be a guide on the site?
The Conversations of Bob
Please note; after the first conversation beginning with "Erm, hello? Can you understand me?", I have no longer included the beginning of the conversation. It would be useless anyway, seeing as he (Bob) says the same things at the beginning. I just submitted the new information that wasn't included in his previous conversations.
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Bob: [
Name], why do you keep your cat in a bank?
Me: I thought it was too dangerous to bring it out with me.
Me: Or, I could have let the poor thing get butchered! Is that what you want?
Bob: Butchered!! I think not. Cats are easily as tough as sheep.
Bob: Cats were the second thing Guthix brought here, after the sheep of course.
Me: Weird. I thought the Gnomes and the Dwarves were the first ones. Back to school for me I guess.
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Bob: Hi, my name is Bob.
My Kitten: Hello Bob!
Me: Do you two know each other?
My Kitten: I don't think so.....
Bob: Yes you do. Dive deep, search your feelings.
Kitten: OK, I will try.
Me: What's up kitty?
Bob: If only you knew the power of Bob. Your master never told you who your real father was did he?
Kitten: No, but what's that got to do with.... no, nooooo! It cannot be!!
*creepy music that sounds like Darth Vader plays*
Bob: Yes. I am your father!
Kitten: That's impossible!
Me: This is all getting very weird.
Bob: You can destroy Zamorak. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule this place as father and son.
Kitten: OK dad, maybe later. You're scaring me!
Me: I think that's about enough of that. I'm off.
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Bob: Erm, hello? Can you understand me?
Me: I certainly can. I am wearing this amulet I got from a Sphinx.
Bob: Ah. Wise and confusing those Sphinges.
Me: Wow!! You know the plural of Sphinx!! What else do you know?
Bob: All sorts of stuff! I pick up no end of comments on my travels. Want to hear one?.
Me: I certainly do. Share your wisdom Bob!
Bob: Nothing interesting happens.
Me: Eh? That's hardly useful.
Bob: Ahh, but it is you see. It does all sorts of wonderous things.
Me: Like what?
Bob: Well, it's more to do with what happens when you hear that being said. You see, something interesting happens somewhere else.
Me: So what you're saying is that if nothing interesting happens to me, then something interesting is happening for someone else somewhere that IS interesting?
Bob: Yes, that's about it.
Me: Ok... I see.... I think.
---
Me: I certainly do. Share your wisdom Bob!
Bob: Sorry, no time for chat. Still got mouse bones stuck in my teeth. How awkward.
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Bob: Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
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Bob: Cats and teleporting just don't mix well. That's why I walk everywhere. Messes my hair up terribly.
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Bob: You know, cats are the first species to fully evolve. We're perfect.
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Bob: Cat Rule Number 3: If you ever make a mistake, which is rare and probably involves a dog, make sure you wash yourself immediately. This will give everyone the impression that it was done on purpose.
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Bob: Yeah, I could tell you something really useful, but then I would have to '1-hit you' to death.
Me: Bob, you couldn't 1-hit a noob.
Bob: Care to place a wager on that? Sorry, hang on, I've got no pockets. Maybe next time.
Me: I'll be waiting.
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Bob: Cat Rule number 1: Always act afraid when near dogs, especially if you're near a human. They will pick you up and fuss you, then shout at the dog. Most amusing!
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Bob: Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are Guthix!
Me: What do you believe, Bob?
Bob: Well, I don't believe much really since I know I am Zar...erm, well, no, I erm, meow?
Me: Hee hee. OK Bob.
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Bob: .Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
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Bob: Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
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Bob: Preserve nature. Pickle a dog!
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Bob: Cat Rule number 4: Beware the bag monster. These things live in small bags and under newspapers, sometimes even hidden in shoes if they are very clever. They will be very small and take on the same colour as the hiding place. Attack these things on sight - stop at nothing. If you see a bag or shoe you have not inspected recently, pounce!!
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Bob: Sorry, I am far too busy marking my territory.
Me: Your territory? This place is ruled by the Grand Highmage Gower and his minions.
Bob: I think not. They are my minions, and I let him think that he's in charge. I'm the real power behind the throne.
Me: I knew it!!
Bob: Yeah, it keeps them happy that way, but don't tell anyone!
Me: Hee hee. OK Bob.
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Bob: If at first you don't succeed, take a short nap.
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Bob: Don't get distracted so easily! See, I'm distracting you right now!
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Bob: Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
{Edit}
Fixed some typos on my part.
I am the Wolf and you are my prey
Can you guess which option I voted for? 