Any Funny Noob Stories?

I checked for a post like this on the site, I was surprised when I couldn't find one kuz these are fun to read.

Any noob stories that make you laugh/lose all faith in humanity?

I have 2
1) I am wearing my dragon armor on F2P world for a friends 99 party.
*noob follows me*
Noob: Buying members items
Me: Untradeable on F2P
Noob: No, my friend has "members item" in his bank
Me: Well, thats because-
Noob: Trade n00b
Me: K
*trades*
Noob: Now put it up!
Me: I cant! Its a F2P world!
Noob: Trade you freaking moron!!!one!!!!! learn to trade!!!!!

2) at netiznot yaks, training attack.
Ranger: W00t!!! only 1 level left till range cape!!!
Me: Nice!
Noob: Cool, range level?

Oh no reminds me of when I got 99 firemaking. A noob came around to watch:

me: time to have 99 firemaking party!
noob: cool!
me: *gets the level up and everyone shouts "GRATZ ON 99 FM CRWIRE!"*
noob: ... fm level?

also: *Goes around f2p in Al Kharid showing off mining cape*

noob: cool do you have a black pickaxe?
me: no there's no such thing.
noob: o yea well my members friend has it it's 1 mil and its red as well.
me: no... theres an inferno adze which is a reward from all fired up mini game.
noob: lol noob ur wrong ive seen it myself and im a member. (he's wearing leather armour and a oak bow)
me: whatever you say, go look it up im going to go now. *walks off*
noob: noob get back here! *follows me for a minute then runs back to where he was*

Noob: woah nice rune godsword
Guy with Rune 2h: umm thanks?
Noob: i have a zaros godsword
Me: mm yeah well theres no such thing
Noob: yes there is
me: show me
(Noob teleports)


Noob: i have 20m
Me: cool can i see
Noob: *stands at bank for like 2 seconds*
Noob: ha ha i made you wait like five minutes i don't have 20m, i don't even have 1m! *teleports*

Jokes on him.. his a poor noob.