* After seeing a news story about a police shooting you wonder, for a moment, why they just didn't set it on stun.
* All babies start to remind you of Jean-Luc Picard.
* Deanna Troi can 'feel' your pain
* More than three original episode outlines are buried in your drawers
* Mr. Spock beamed down into your back yard last night and talked to you
* Phrases like 'sentient being' start creeping into your speech patterns.
* Sitting in traffic you seriously start wondering why you're using this primitive form of transportation.
* Someone tells a joke and your only comment is: "Humour, a difficult concept"
* The Outrageous Okona seems like a fine piece of writing and dramatic stylistics
* The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams
* The UPS guy hands you his electronic clipboard and you're tempted to call him the "Captain's Yeoman" as you sign it.
* When you get sick you want Doctor Beverley to take care of you
* Whenever you start your car you take your right index finger and point it ahead of you saying "Engage"
* You've attended a convention wearing non-Terran vestments
* You've been paying rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in Star Trek: The Motion Picture
* You've figured out the stardate system
* You've had actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint
* You've had experience playing fizzbin and understanding it
* You've lectured any science professor on how transporters work
* You've memorized the crew's authorization codes
* You already know the name of every episode of season one of Star Trek: Voyager
* You always win the free slice of pizza at the local pizza place when they have Star Trek trivia questions.
* You answer your cellular flip-phone "Kirk here"
* You are able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first
* You ask your broken computer to run a self-diagnostic
* You avoid all stores that carry Trek merchandise for fear that someone will find out about your 'addiction'.
* You breed Tribbles
* You call your Psychic friends to talk to Mr. Spock
* You can name all 79 episodes of classic Trek--in order
* You can name, alphabetically, all the women Kirk seduced
* You can quote all of the Articles of the Federation
* You can trace your genealogy back to Surak
* You cannot use contractions in your speech
* You drive by a used car lot and start looking for Ferengi
* You experience indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium.
* You find yourself executing the "Picard Maneuver".
* You find yourself singing "Headin' Out to Eden" in the shower and you know all the words.
* You flip open your cellular phone and expect to hear it "chirp."
* You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?"
* You get on an elevator full of people and have to catch yourself before you tell it what floor you want.
* You get upset when apply for a vanity license plate, and find that WRP SPD, BEAM ME, TREKKR, MKIT SO, and ENGAGE have already been taken.
* You have a copy of every Star Trek uniform shown on TV or in the movies
* You have a matter / anti-matter converter in your bathroom
* You have a shrine to Gene Roddenberry in your spare room
* You have a sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra
* You have inexplicable rock-climbing urges
* You have more than one pair of Spock ears in an old junk drawer
* You have no life.
* You have seen Star Trek The Motion Picture over 100 times
* You hire a private detective because you KNOW Guinan is here somewhere
* You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan.
* You keep asking Scotty to 'beam you up'
* You keep forgetting that present-day elevators don't have a voice interface
* You know every word of Star Trek IV by heart
* You know the difference between "Live Long and Prosper" and "Nanu, Nanu"
* You know Yeoman Rand's cabin number
* You know you watch too much Trek when someone asks you to quote some Shakespeare and you do it in Klingon.
* You make annual pilgrimages to the Paramount lot
* You name your cat Spot and feed it feline supplement #74
* You named your first child Leonard William DeForest
* You named your second child Tiberius
* You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble.
* You quote the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (i've done that
war is good for business)
* You recognize more than 4 references on this list.
* You redecorate your living room to look like the bridge of the Enterprise
* You replace your Windows Program Manager font with “TNG Monitors”
* You save up money to send your kids to Starfleet Academy
* You scare your little brother by acting like a Gorn
* You see a car with a Starfleet Academy sticker and it seems perfectly normal.
* You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7.
* You shave your head to look like Captain Picard
* You sing along with William Shatner's record album
* You sing Klingon Opera while showering
* You spend $150.00 at a convention on a piece of plastic that may or may not look like a phaser
* You spend the weekend decorating your friend's van to look like a shuttlecraft instead of going on a date with the Homecoming Queen
* You stand in line for 13 hours to get Gene Roddenberry's autograph
* You start making lists of the signs that you've been watching too much Trek!
* You start practicing raising one eyebrow in front of a mirror.
* You start saying "make it so" in casual conversation
* You start scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol
* You start watching commercials because so many Trek alumni are doing the voice-overs.
* You talk to your computer (Hello, computer!)
* You talk... like... William Shatner --- on purpose
* You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise.
* You trim your angora cat's hair to make it look like a tribble
* You understand Klingon
* You use stardates on all your correspondence
* You walk to the microwave and start to order dinner.
* You want to have Worf's baby
* You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale.
* You write love letters to Lursa and B’Etor
* Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Capt. Kirk.
* Your dream date is with Deanna Troi
* Your idea of a great evening is spouting Trek trivia for six hours with your friends
* Your major quote sources for your thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory"
* Your wardrobe consists of a lot of black slacks with interchangeable gold, red and blue tops.
* Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information.
* You try to create Omega molecules.
* You explain how we can travel at the speed of light.
enjoy
now i wonder how many shane is guilty of
