Endymia: Chapter 2 - Magical Encounters.

Anubis · **Posted:** July 13th, 2007, 5:36 pm

Anubis wrote:

Chapter 2 - Magical Encounters

Unin walked through the thin, stone corridor on the other side of the tomb’s entrance. He wandered past various historical artefacts, possessions of the now dead King Endymion. He knew his way around the area as he had been there once before. Last time, he got what he wanted for free. This time however, he knew that the price would be a lot less generous; spirits tend to be in a position where they want a lot of things and with this particular spirit being a former monarch, the price was going to be high. Unin took a right turn down another corridor which was slightly more decorated. Various Phoenician inscriptions were on these walls, and an almost new looking rug made the regular stone floor look a little more fitting for a King’s tomb. Ahead, the corridor opened up into a large square room, holding the King’s body on the furthest wall from where Unin was now standing. A few yards in front of the King’s body, was an ornately carved stone well, holding a strange and dark metallic liquid, glistening with the reflections of the room’s torches. He stepped forwards, and called out;
“My king. I have a request.”

Fiore and Rhaet were alone in the main hall of the Senate’s School, the other eight members had left to either teach their students or attend to some personal business. Rhaet approached Fiore from his place at the table, and beckoned towards the southern door, the same one they had used to enter only a half hour ago,
“Our room will be right down that corridor, you take the second left turning, and it will be the third door on the right. I would come with you, but I expect you’re anxious to explore the grounds yourself, I want you there in no more than twenty minutes though, try not to cause any trouble though, okay?” Rhaet laughed, and walked out of the room’s eastern door, which was earlier used by Hio and Aqer.
Fiore left the main hall through the door mentioned by Rhaet, and into the unfamiliar corridors. He walked down until he found himself near two other corridors on the left, and one on the right. Fiore looked down each of them; all but one was decorated like the main corridor. They housed many artefacts, tablets and paintings; however the two on the left appeared to lead to classrooms and storage rooms. One of which had slightly different decorations on the walls. Those two had many more doors and rooms than the third corridor, which was larger in width than the other two, and had an inscription on one of the walls which read ‘School Courtyards’.

Of course that's not all of it! If you'd like to read the rest, please click on the link in my signature, the full version of the chapter can be found there.

Thanks for reading!!

Adbot · **Posted:** July 13th, 2007, 5:36 pm

Rune Beast0 · **Posted:** July 13th, 2007, 6:28 pm

Gontcha wrote:

I like =)

From the sandbox thread.

I agree, I can't wait to see how the rest of the story turns out.

Mushroom Queen · **Posted:** July 13th, 2007, 11:04 pm

I posted what I thought about it on your blog, but I'll paste that here too:

Quote:

I really liked how the chapter started out with Unin’s petition to Endymion and ended with the god entering his body. I thought it was a very interesting and exciting part. However, I feel like the general dialogue of the story is a bit on the childish side. I don’t really think that words like “cool” or “ummm” should be used throughout it. It’s really just a matter of personal preference though. I also think that Unin was a bit coarse with Endymion. He begins the chapter by coming to him for help and he ends it by saying “Just get rid of Fiore” like he’s some type of mob boss. Well, I figure that since he’s talking to a GOD, he should at least show some humility (or feigned humility).

Anyhow, good work. I’m glad you finished a second chapter.

Anubis · **Posted:** July 14th, 2007, 4:08 am

I thought I'd post this here as well because some people may have the same questions and thoughts that you did, thankyou for your comment MQ. ^^

Anubis wrote:

You’ve got to keep in mind that Fiore and Sakura are very young children of the age 10, and so they’re not likely to have such a wide vocabulary as you or me (although Fiore does like to act like an adult most of the time). Nevertheless I’ll try to find better ways to show the childish side of the two in some of the next parts.

Unin’s Soul however, being in his current position, is pretty annoyed with Endymion at the moment and isn’t too bothered with politeness or humility. Notice how that time he called Endymion by his name rather than a title like “My King”.

Thanks for reading MQ!

I'm glad you enjoyed it too Rune Beast0!