guinea pigs.

James · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 4:09 pm

Guinea pigs, the make you smile.
Guinea pigs, fun and fun all day.
Guinea pigs, love them so much.
Guinea pigs, squeak squeak squeak!

Adbot · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 4:09 pm

Jamie · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 4:20 pm

Check for some spelling and grammatical errors. Otherwise, it's a pretty cute poem

Suggestion: rhyming?

James · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 4:34 pm

bluebrisingr wrote:

Check for some spelling and grammatical errors. Otherwise, it's a pretty cute poem

Suggestion: rhyming?

I really can't rhyme but, next time i will try.

Zachy · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 4:36 pm

XD Cool.

Guinea pigs for the win! :P

Gzpro · **Posted:** May 14th, 2007, 6:20 pm

mainiacks wrote:

bluebrisingr wrote:

Check for some spelling and grammatical errors. Otherwise, it's a pretty cute poem

Suggestion: rhyming?

I really can't rhyme but, next time i will try.

Poems don't have to rhyme I some times find rhyming quiet annoy.

Ranging God · **Posted:** May 15th, 2007, 8:32 am

lol, that poem made me laugh out loud in my buissness class... Eveyone is looking at me = s

Adbot · **Posted:** May 15th, 2007, 8:32 am

Guest · **Posted:** May 15th, 2007, 1:46 pm

Yes, it's cute, but playing off the earlier suggestion, try adding some flow.

Like, if you don't want to make it rhyme (totally fine if it doesn't), try giving it a syllabic pattern (pattern of the number of syllables in each line).

Other than that, the "fun and fun" thing just really bothers me. Not sure why, but its redundancy is like scratching a chalkboard to my sensitive brain.