my grandfather died today

Shreder · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 1:11 pm

they broke the news to me when i got home from school.
first time in a while i cried.
then i made a hole in my wall.

i'm not good with family deaths.
does anyone know how to cope with them?

Adbot · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 1:11 pm

Brad · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 1:15 pm

I think everyone has their own ways of dealing with the death of a person you were close to. The few times I've had to deal with it I just like to spend a lot of time on my own.. often doing nothing.. just isolating myself from everything and relaxing. Seems to make it a little easier for me at least.

PhoenixEmpire · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 1:20 pm

Well, there is no perfect way to deal with it. I mean, it's a serious thing. And like all serious things, it takes time.

For me, I just kind of accept it. You need to realize what the reality of the situation is. The hardest thing in the world is knowing you wont see them again. It'll hurt like hell, and it wont feel right. But you need to accept it. I'm not saying forget it, or even act like it's okay. Because it's not. There's no way something like this is okay. But accepting the fact that nothing will change it, and that this is just how life is, is the first step to being happy again.

After that, think about the happy times you had together. This'll be hard, because it'll most definitely lead to you missing them. However, you need to keep in mind that memories are the strongest link you have between someone, and that it's the most valuble thing that you two share together, and those memories will be with you for the rest of your life. So sure, you wont make new memories, but you'll **** well never forget the old ones.

Alex · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 2:28 pm

When I first heard news of my Grandfather and Aunt dying, I didn't think much of it at first, nor up to the point where I was getting ready to go to the funeral.

It's only about a moment into the funeral where it really sank in and I was in tears.

Sorry about your loss.

CreepyPirate · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 3:11 pm

It's apart of life sadly, something you deal with in your own way. You can't be told how to handle it. Personally i carry on and keep going, save it for the funeral to mourn properly.

Like being left alone a bit i guess, other than that i try to carry on as usual..after all that's what they would have wanted.

Mikhail · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 5:10 pm

Sorry about your loss, I never show any emotion, but inside of me feels horrible, I know what you're going through, I lost my grandfather 2 years ago.

Adbot · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 5:10 pm

Steven · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 5:35 pm

I lost my great grandmother almost a year ago. I didn't really feel too badly before the funeral. As soon as soon as the real thing happened, I was incredibly sad, and I cried pretty hard. The way I coped with it was to just isolate myself from the world and to try to relax and try to accept it. It'll be incredibly hard to accept a family member's death. You just have to think about the good times you had with them. Try to picture what that family member would have wanted.

I'm very sorry about your loss.

Davo · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 7:35 pm

I'm very sorry to hear that. Same thing has happened with me like everyone else has said. I really didn't think twice about it when I heard the news of my step-grandpa dying. It wasn't until they were about to close the casket (I was a pallbearer) that I started to break down. It's hard. For me, it works best to keep your mind off of them and try not to reminisce about good times right away. That seems to make coping a lot harder for me. When you have come to accept the fact that he's in a better place, that's when I like to think back. Plus at that point I'm in a much more stable state of mind.

PhoenixEmpire · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 8:14 pm

I feel so heartless when reading through this. I've had like 2 family members die, and I never cried. I felt sad at the funeral, but that was it. I just moved on really quickly i guess...

Man...I feel horrible now.

Davo · **Posted:** December 15th, 2008, 9:19 pm

PhoenixEmpire wrote:

I feel so heartless when reading through this. I've had like 2 family members die, and I never cried. I felt sad at the funeral, but that was it. I just moved on really quickly i guess...

Man...I feel horrible now.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Some people don't cry over that kind of stuff. At least you haven't protested funerals with signs that read "God Hates You" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers". Just kidding.

No worries though man.

jointntoday · **Posted:** December 16th, 2008, 12:26 am

luckly i havent had to deal with many deaths. and hope to keep it that way.
but when something like that happens most the time i try to spend time outside by my self.
lighting a fire and watching it. or walking thur the woods. just being outside and not thinking helps me. no two people are the same, so no two people handle things the same

im sorry about your loss.

Kylescorpion · **Posted:** December 16th, 2008, 11:32 am

wow im so sorry to hear for ur loss, but the thing u must remember is, that death happens and you have to move on at some point. It's ok to cry and miss your grandfather, but you don't want it to affect your everyday life. Because alot of people do that and it just ruins alot of things. So Let your emotions out now and then in a week or so begin the healing process.

momsrascal93 · **Posted:** December 16th, 2008, 5:45 pm

Sorry about your loss. I know how you feel... This is going to my first Christmas without my grandpa.

Kenny · **Posted:** December 17th, 2008, 2:36 pm

I haven't had to deal with any family deaths. Sorry to hear about your loss. Do want you feel you need to do, relax, maybe try and take your mind off of it ? Sorry again.

Mark · **Posted:** December 17th, 2008, 3:11 pm

Like others have said, it hits you the hardest when your at the funeral and you know you won't see him/her again. Sadly it is a part of life that is unavoidable. You'll get over it eventually though.