Everyone Post Here-- I need Advice...

blethorskite · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 3:32 pm

Dokter there is some sound advice in the replies and you have made the first step in trying to deal with this problem. You've asked for advice. But your really young to be dealing with this problem (goodwilled advice on here or not). If you get on well with your parents you need to talk to them. If not, then a relative or adult friend. A school counsellor, maybe an option.

Your definately doing the right thing by being concerned about your friend.

Adbot · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 3:32 pm

Chief Snake · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 3:51 pm

MattVortex wrote:

If the drugs are just straight pot, don't worry too much yet. There isn't much wrong with a bit of cannabis every now and then. She shouldn't take it regularly, and if you get the suspicion she is addicted to or it takes it on a regular basis or whatever, that should be stopped. If she's taking it one-off with a few friends in a social situation, I do not really see how you have a right to judge her for it. If it's actually affecting her as a person - her personality or health or whatever, then you should worry.

No, you're thinking about it the wrong way.
The addiction to drugs can be thought of as being similar to cancer - the most effective treatment is to prevent it (and anyone who says otherwise is BSing). A little bit may not hurt you, and while I've never had any of my own experience with drugs, the best thing you can do in any situation like this is play it safe.

MattVortex · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 4:52 pm

Chief Snake wrote:

No, you're thinking about it the wrong way.
The addiction to drugs can be thought of as being similar to cancer - the most effective treatment is to prevent it (and anyone who says otherwise is BSing). A little bit may not hurt you, and while I've never had any of my own experience with drugs, the best thing you can do in any situation like this is play it safe.

Ok, perhaps I was wrong about waiting for when there is an obvious effect. Clearly she should never become addicted to drugs or drink or anything.

However, you should not judge her. You should not abandon her as a friend. But you must trust her to make her own decisions. If you think she is beginning to start taking drugs regularly, ask her about it. If she's a sensible person, she should treat drugs and alcohol sensibly. There is nothing wrong with drink or drugs if had sensibly.

Do not try to talk her out of it. Do not call her an idiot, do not insult her at all. Do not tell her parents. Do not tell the police. She will not appreciate that, at all. Just tell her not to take too much. If you're concerned about these 'friends' of hers, tell her you're worried about her.

Above all, keep talking to her. Ask her what she's doing with these friends. But do NOT judge her.

Master 1359 · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 5:18 pm

Ryan wrote:

CreepyPirate wrote:

Give her a warning, tell her shes wrong and if she doesn't listen - Cut off all relations and let her know you think shes an idiot.

Let her wreck her life, just steer clear of it.

I agree. You need to leave people to make their own decisions. Right or wrong, they choose what to do. She'll realise what shes done sooner or later.

If your too cautious, its good to tell an adult, and then kinda back away from the situation. Don't get yourself involved, you don't wanna get caught in them types of things.

while i may agree a bit that its her life and she can do what she wants with it, i dont agree that he should call her an idiot. i mean, say she does it, but regrets it, and never does it again, you just called her an idiot and shes gonna remember that, so what if shes really sorry about it?
i mean, i know that you may feel like "watever, its her life", deep down you're gonna feel bad about watever happens. like say for example, she does ruin her life, you're gonna see that and feel bad deep down.

i guess wat im trying to say is that, no matter if she listens to you or not, you're still going to love her.

maybe u oughta tell her that. that shes a great friend of urs and watever she decides to do, listen or not, u'll still be there for her.

Chief Snake · **Posted:** January 30th, 2008, 6:42 pm

MattVortex wrote:

However, you should not judge her. You should not abandon her as a friend. But you must trust her to make her own decisions. If you think she is beginning to start taking drugs regularly, ask her about it. If she's a sensible person, she should treat drugs and alcohol sensibly. There is nothing wrong with drink or drugs if had sensibly.

Do not try to talk her out of it. Do not call her an idiot, do not insult her at all. Do not tell her parents. Do not tell the police. She will not appreciate that, at all. Just tell her not to take too much. If you're concerned about these 'friends' of hers, tell her you're worried about her.

Above all, keep talking to her. Ask her what she's doing with these friends. But do NOT judge her.

Hmm. I half agree with that, but it's a risky option... You know, the easy way out would just be to tell her parents or talk to the school, whatever, but she's really gonna hate you for that. With this method you're just letting her go through with it - and she will - but you're being supportive of her throughout it.

So wait, let's go back to the beginning here; why the hell is a thirteen year old getting her nose pierced? Seriously, what the hell? I thought getting your nose pierced, period, was gross enough. How can she want to do this herself? As for the other people she surrounds herself with, what are they like? It seems Kim's friends are pretty horrible people.

I really don't know how common this is where you're from (and I've heard things from other people over in America which leads me to believe that it is a big problem) but over here this is almost unheard of. I mean, there are people at my school with drug problems, I can definitely admit, but I never hear about them specifically, and I don't know who has those problems. In fact, I come from a place with one of the worst gang problems in New Zealand, but I've never been affected by that. Here, I actually fear alcohol a lot more than drugs - due to several instances (don't worry - outside my family) that I'd rather not talk about. I agree with Matt that most things in moderation will not affect you adversely, but on the other hand, not a lot of people are as sensible as they should be, so you really have to watch out. From what I can tell, Kim does not seem like an overly sensible young lady.

In some respect, I have to agree with Creepy.
I don't interact with people who do drugs or get themselves wasted every other night, and I think other people understand that, so I'm never bothered with drugs at all. The issue is all to do with her friends, and she's going to realise that eventually. However, since her friends aren't even your friends, I think it would be easier for you to get them out of the way. Tell Kim's parents that her friends are tricking her into doing this? You know, something along those lines, but I'm really not the right person for making up stories. As long as you can make it look like Kim is not the one to blame at all, she shouldn't feel any worse off.

Ok, I'm going to shut up and let someone else explain better. 8-[

Matt was on the right track, anyway.

MattVortex wrote:

Above all, keep talking to her. Ask her what she's doing with these friends. But do NOT judge her.

Whoops.

Habit.

gost302 · **Posted:** February 2nd, 2008, 10:19 am

you can tell police of parents ohterwise you will lose her trust just let her do what she wants thn when she fed up tell her u told her so and try saying things to shock her out off it

Adbot · **Posted:** February 2nd, 2008, 10:19 am

EnglishPenguin · **Posted:** February 15th, 2008, 4:10 pm

... Personally, I wouldn't get involved yet. CHances are, it'll only be a one time thing, and if you constantly have a go at her for it, then you'll lose that friendship. I know people who have smoked drugs, and a know people 14-15 and younger who smoke. I will every now and again tell them that they're stupid, and give them hundreds of reasons why they shouldn't do it, but in the end, it's their desicion. If I were you, I'd wait to see if she does it every weekend, or if it's just a one time thing. If she does start to do it a lot, go to her parents, don't try and stop her yourself, because you'll only end up ruining a friendship.

And to do with alcohol, it won't kill her unless she goes overboard. My parents say it's fine for me to get tipsy every now and again, and they've been saying that for the last 2 years. They'll tolerate it even if I come home plastered, and vomiting, as long as I know not to do it all the time.

... So whatever.

Jessica · **Posted:** February 16th, 2008, 1:54 am

Hey, I'm going through the same thing at the moment, I've recently been suspended from school for drinking on school grounds and selling it to other students (drinks originally stolen from parents and put into water bottles and sold to other students). This is my 4th suspension this year and its already halfway through the year. Now after that suspension my parents couldn't take it no more that I do **** like this. They wanna kick me out. For GOOD! They want me on the streets! In a freakin shelter where you could possibly get raped...If im lucky. Getting kicked out is not fun.

But I don't think RSBANDB is that good for talking about personal issues. I think the official runescape forums has some sorta rule about posts on personal issues. You don't want a big flame war do you?

Al3X · **Posted:** February 16th, 2008, 9:22 am

well, the best thing to do would inform someone of higher authority (parents, counselor, etc.)

theres always the possible you misunderstood what she meant, so before you go do something that may make her hate you try to talk to her.

but to be honest, when you get older (not speaking down to you, just so you know), you will see things like that so much that you cant say anything or try to help everyone. I understand that she is a good friend, but sometimes you just have to let it go and worry about yourself.

good luck with your friend, hopefully she will see the error of her ways.