Meh. Another one of my stupid stories. enjoy!
One day, while the owner of a random apartment in a random hotel in a random city was away, a leftover taco that had been in the refrigerator for 2 years, all the way back in the black depths of the meat drawer, was slowly gaining consciousness. He suddenly blinked his tomato eyes and stood on his cheesy legs. He shivered, and then proceeded through the jungle of meat, finally reaching the front. Using all his strength, he stepped back and threw himself into the front of the drawer. Again and again he did this, until finally the drawer was open wide enough for him to crawl out. Suddenly, as he stood from his long fall out of the drawer, he realized that there was no chance that he was to get through the thing that to him looked like a gargantuan metal wall in front of him without some help.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he climbed up to the vegetable drawer and jumped in. He wandered around until he found a stout, moldy broccoli, and then slapped it repeatedly until it awoke from its long sleep. The taco motioned the broccoli to follow him, and they both proceeded to recruit more and more food into the ranks of the taco’s every growing army. Finally, when he decided he had enough troops, he brought them to the metal “wall”. He then instructed them to push, push with all their might against the “wall”, until it finally gave in. All the cabbage and broccoli and carrots and spinach and tomatoes and apples and oranges and all the other fruits and veggies he had gotten tumbled out into the blinding light that lay outside the metal “wall”. They stayed there for a while, laying on the floor, stunned that they had succeeded in their goal and also wondering…what would they do next? Then, the taco stood in front of the large crowd of assorted foods. Holding his butter stick high, he declared that they would conquer the house. They quickly ran throughout the house, marking their territory with stinky cheese. Every so often they would come upon a mouse, but would subdue it with light casualties. Wrapping it in tin foil, they threw them into the house microwave, trapping them until justice did…them……in. Finally, they conquered the house, and the taco was trying to decide whether or not to venture through the wooden wall, out into the “Great Open” as they called it. Finally, the taco’s uncontrollable curiosity drove him to gather his army and attempt to breach the great wooden door. As they approached the door, the taco noticed that the door knob started to turn.
The taco quickly screamed at the army to hide for their lives, and suddenly the intruder burst in. From their hiding places, the startled army stared in wonder. What appeared before them was nothing that they had ever seen. It was huge giant, looking something like the reports of elder pizza, who had been outside their prison once before, and had seen this huge gargantuan beast. Following the “human”, as the elder pizza had called it, was a great slobbering beast, trotting on four legs. Sniffing, the 4-legged beast’s bloodshot eyes scanned the room, looking for prey. After they had passed, the multitude of fruits and veggies used the advantage of the open door to run out into the “Great Open”. Abruptly, the door closed behind the army, inflicting heavy fatalities. Once outside, they stared in dismay at the long hall in front of them. Finally, they decided to proceed in their exploration of the “Great Open” and strided down the hall. Finally, they came upon huge opening and closing metal doors. Occasionally the doors opened and closed, receiving or expelling humans. Suddenly the taco had an amazing idea. He declared that it must be a transporter to an alternate dimension, because every time it opened it was empty again or different people were there. When no one was in or heading towards the elevator, they all rushed inside. Suddenly, they felt a deep rumbling, and felt the sensation of dropping. “A trap!” the taco screamed, running for the doors.
But, alas! The doors had closed already, and they were trapped, apparently plunging down to their doom. As the Veggie Tales® theme song turned on, the army panicked. All of the sudden, the rumbling and the falling sensation stopped. The divisions of assorted fruits and veggies sighed in relief as the doors slid open once again. They charged out unabashed, but quickly ran for cover, for in the large room in front of them was full of humans, and they looked hungry enough to eat all of them, and just for an appetizer! After a long and torturous time of dodging feet and avoiding being seen, the conquerors reached the exit. When the army of fruits and vegetables got outside, the taco surveyed all that was before him. Looking at all the skyscrapers and stores, he was suddenly taken over by an insatiable thirst for world domination. After they got outside, they quickly hid in an alley and set up a home field base. Every day, while in his office, the taco planned the world’s demise and having control of the entire earth. But that, my friends, is another story.
TO BE CONTINUED…
