-Krotarn- a new book im writing

Humus · **Posted:** November 22nd, 2006, 2:51 am

INTRODUCTION
Mist curled its way through the dark sky above the city of Krotarn. Dismal weather endlessly haunted the city and depressed the civilians. A fox trotted silently across a large expanse of unhealthy-looking grass covered over with a thick layer of dew. A flash of lightening followed by a boom of thunder. The fox looked up, startled by this eruption; the moon was a giant in the sky, scanning the pathetic civilisations ruled by greedy kings. The fox wandered on, searching for food…not much around Krotarn, a giant forest inhabited by a large assortment of strange and dangerous creatures- goblins, deadly snakes and carnivorous tortoises that can bite chunks out of you arm surrounded the city. The forest itself was ancient as was the city of Krotarn and although the forest was an extremely dangerous place to be, Krotarn is an even more dangerous place to be…

Adbot · **Posted:** November 22nd, 2006, 2:51 am

Zachy · **Posted:** November 22nd, 2006, 7:05 am

Hm...Interesting.

You might, however, want to make the intro just a bit longer. That's probably about a paragraph. A good idea to lengthen it would be to move away from the fox, and let the reader find out a bit more about this "Krotarn". Perhaps move your view to a man or woman in the city. Just let a bit of extra information seep into your writing. Then, when something important is about to happen, cut out, and move on to Chapter 1. This will hopefully hook the reader, which is the goal of an introduction. You want to interest a person enough so that he wants to keep reading to figure out what is going to happen, or who is going to die, etc.

But that's definitely a good start.

We really need a Writing forum. >.<

Humus · **Posted:** November 25th, 2006, 2:27 pm

thanks

but i think ill just carry on...i doubt id ever actually finish the book anyway