My Life

So, we recently received an AP Lang Joke-esque assignment in which we had to mimic some kid's college application in which he said some crazy stuff or something. Well, after hours and hours of scratching my head, digging through old podcasts, and typing random crap later, this is what I've come up with :p

If you have any ideas that you would like to see added (and therefore shared with my classmates, which will bring them joy. So basically, if you want to spread joy throughout the world), then feel free to post a much appreciated response with some additional ideas.

I read the entire Farmer’s Almanac. I am to be reckoned with. Role Models are important. For mine, I chose Joan of Arc. I mean, if you can inspire French people to fight, you have a lot going for you. I enjoy playing catch with my friends. With letter openers. Blindfolded. I maintain my grass by using sheer intimidation. Which is not easy to do: grass has been around for a while and has become notoriously hard to frighten.

I was the one who added ‘d’ to ‘dum’ to make ‘dumb’ people feel a little bit ‘dum’-‘ber.’ I got a footlong sub for five dollars. I watched Pirates of the Carribean 3 and understood the plot line. Which is pretty impressive considering that everything in that movie had a plotline. Eyeball. Plotline. Fish. Plotline. Wall. Plotline.

I always wake up happy. Even on days when the dew falls with a particularly sickening thud.
What seems fatal and dangerous to you is a good first date idea to me. Like base-jumping off cliffs in Ireland. Minus the parachute. I watched The Notebook. And didn’t cry.

I have the stamina and determination to argue with a piece of macaroni about the meaning of life. For a year. And win. While others have mastered the element of surprise, I have mastered the element of Actinium. I can ride a bike with no handlebars. No handlebars. No handlebars.

Flobots - Handlebars.

Did you credit them in your essay?

Otherwise...it was...interesting o_O