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 Post subject: Fall Of Power Part 1:Rise To The Throne
PostPosted: October 2nd, 2007, 4:23 pm 
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RS Name: Mckennant
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*Intro*Ok My name is Mckennant And I'm going to be posting my series of storys On this fourm I made FOP part 1 when I was in 7th grade(so 3 years ago) the overhall grammer and story style is lacking. But FOP part 2 and FOP part 3 are much better.


This may seem like your "everyday" runescape story but honstly it is not you will see this recuring thing happen in every story


In the 169th year in the 5th age of runescape evil draws near as the world comes crashing down…..


Chapter 1 The Imperial Force


"c'mon move it, move it"

"yes sir" Ivor commanded his students to bring the metal bars to the anvil. The soldiers were about to earn their weapon of honor, A 2 handed sword .

They moved the bars into the smiting room inside white knights Castle.

"Lights out in 2 hours u may do as you please until then."

Kentex known for his high defense and being "teachers pet" walked through the grassy plains and farmland around the castle. The sight of these things always brought hope to him that he would be a true defense pure.

"Lights out!”

During the night, Ivor made the claws in the smiting room everybody remained sound asleep except Kentex who could not wait for the task to have himself earn his sword. He looked out the window and saw a pitch-black sky and a black figure in the distance.

"Wake up!"

The students got in their armor and went outside. Ivory had the claws in a crate on the floor.

Kentex was getting excited as Ivor pulled out a piece of paper with something written on it. He read from it.

"Your task is, as a team to find the Sword of Shadows"

"I don’t need to be rude sir but...where is the sword?"

"In the forest"

"go!"

"Kentex"

"yes master" he replied “Take this sword " said Ivor
“Why should I take It and not anybody else?" said Kentex “because you are the most promising student and you need protection, now go" said Ivor
“yes sir" said Kentex



Chapter Two The Sword of Shadows

They walked into the forest, eager hoping to see the sword lying on the ground.

"Let’s split up" suggested a Kentex“ok you 5 that way you 5 that way and the rest of us will go this way"

"ok Kentex" They searched and searched and searched for a long time till a students gave up.

"I’m sick of this we won’t find it."

One raised his shield and the sun reflected onto a rock, which gave a strong reflection back.

"This rock isn’t real,"

said Kentex as he hit it with his sword.
He found the sword and the second he removed it he heard a scream.

"What the…”

He looked upon the other group and saw something attacking them, he could not tell because the sun was going down and many of the trees were blocking it.

"Help"

"I am coming!" yelled Kentex and the figure ran towards him. He realized as it got closer it was not an animal he seen, it was made of pure blackness.

Everybody ran out of the forest and Kentex used his sword to cut the beast. It did not work, he used the Sword of Shadows and he struck the beast, which seemed to have died instantly.

Ivor came running out.

"Everyone in the castle now!"

Everyone ran in and went to their quarters. Hours later Ivor returned and turned on all the lights while telling everyone to live with it.

Kentex woke up and walked into the hallway. He walked to next living quarters and into the main hall. He looked at the ceiling in horror as everything began to heat up.


Chapter 3 the fall of fallador,

"Fire" Kentex yelled as students came running out of their quarters.

They ran for the door buy stone fell form the ceiling. Ivor came running out into the hall “everyone get suited quickly and follow me!"

In 1 minute everyone was running. The hall was burning behind them and wood and stone were falling.

"Oh my gosh!" yelled a student.

Kentex turned around and saw a student impaled on a piece of wood. Ivor came to a halt at a chain lying on the floor.

"Everyone pull!"

They pulled and the stone lifted, a staircase was now in front of them. They quickly ran down and out of the castle. The tunnel collapsed and many students were killed, and many trapped.

"No time to grieve run south!"

They ran only to stop in their tracks.

"What the...keep moving!”

They stood still. Another figure shaped like a knight similar to the one in the woods rode into the castle. A student tried to stop him and lunged with his sword.

The knight’s sword went into his chest and he fell to the ground.

"Foolish human" said the figure "you can’t stop me form retrieving my right."

They stared at the figure as he rode towards the flames. They ran south towards llumbrige castle hoping to find help.

They made it into the perimeter, knowing that there would be an attack there soon.

Students went into the castle and Ivor and Kentex gazed at the fire.

"This was no accident master, but a diversion




Chapter Four the Black Vulture
Kentex and Ivor stayed gazing upon their old land.

"That’s odd it’s been hours and the sun isn’t up.," said Ivor “It seems that..."

A large portion of the castle fell down in bits.
"Run!" yelled Ivor as he and Kentex ran to the bridge.

Students came running out only to be crushed by blocks of stone. Three students managed to get out. The five of them ran across the bridge as it collapsed below their feet. Kentex fell into the water and the vulture snatched him out.

"Kentex!” yelled a student “shhhhhh he’s lost already I am sorry," said Ivor
A shadow in the shape of a vulture flew overhead and bashed its wings into the castle as it fell.

THey Ran towards the only remaining kingdom, Varrock they came to the stonewall and went to the gate.

It opened a little a they walked in; all of the people were active, and walking about.

"Let's head for the castle," Said Ivor
they walked and guards checked them and they went inside to speak to the king.



Chapter 5 The King's Word
"Ivor my friend, I am aware of these Shadows and their army’s. We have an army ready for the attack." said the king

" What do u mean..." said Ivor
“he you didn’t realize that we had soldiers and archers ready to fight as you walked in?" said the king .

"I thought they were all civilians shopping." said Ivor

"Yes you are right they are shopping but did you manage to see what they were shopping for?" Said the king

"supplies I assume" responded Ivor

"correct" said the king

"Well we lost...him." said Ivor

"WHAT!!!, you know his importance!!!" yelled the king

"Yes I do but..." said Ivor

" GET OUT!!!" yelled the king as Ivor left the room.




Chapter 6 war in varrock

every man and woman was put in aamour or a bow to get ready for an attack. White knights had been put up on the wall’s with shiny sliver pikes. And 100 men blocked the entrance to the city. Ivor told the king “we do not have enough men to hold varrock we will be crushed," he said with a frown. "we must hold them at all cost" the king responded " the army of Saradomin must hold against the evil power's of zammork" the king added

"we could call upon the god Sara" said Kentex had opened the doors to the castle beaten but alive


“how are you alive?” Ivor asked

“We don’t have time for that master” replied Kentex

"we might be able to ask Guthix to come with there army of elf’s" the king said

"all tie's to guthix have been cut he will not help us or his army of pitiful elf’s" said Ivor with a angry tone

" we must try" said Kentex.....send two of your fastest horse men to Guthix plea for help"

"will do" said the king

All of a sudden they head a loud explosion that rocked the whole city that was followed by men screaming all three ran out to see part of the southern wall in pieces

the king yelled "pepare for battle!"


chapter 7 zammrok's demand

the king stood there in the middle of varrock with Ivor and Kentex and a few other with knights looking at the huge army of black king's that had formed outside of the southern wall. Then a poof of smoke appeared in front of the king as the smoke rose it reveled the god of zammrok!

a white knight ran toward the god with his 2h pointed at the powful god the god blocked the first blow and killed him with his powful magic

zammork said"surender your city and we will let you live"

the king replyed"no!!"

Zammork said with a grin “good good I will enjoy killing you all...you are all filth" then he just disappeared in a big ball of smoke just then cannon fire rained apron the men exploding! Fire everywhere ............

then it happened the black knights went towards the castle with full force Ivor ran up the wall Yelling "fire your arrow's" men everywhere fired there war harded bows hopeing by the small chance that they would kill something.


Chapter 8 call for help

the black knights came up the wall. Slashing down all guard’s that tried to stop them. Some people hid in shop's until the black knights came then they popped out beating them down with there swords. Kentex ran forward slashed one knights at the chest spun around and stabbed him in the neck, the knight let out a moan before a arrow hit him in the back.

Ivor could not hold the wall any longer the Black Knights ran ramped up and down the wall killing all in site. he had to flee running back with a bow in his had he had a toll of 20 kill's so far he ran back in to where Kentex was killing knights he quickly pulled out his steal claw's bashing a king's head up against a wall then stabbing him in the chest. Kentex yelled "we cannot hold them any longer!” we must the rest of the men off of the wall.

Ivor Nodded his head and screamed "FALL BACK...FALL BACK. TO THE CASTLE FA.... just then ivor was hit with a black feathed arrow, he fell to his knees and tilted his head up to see another arrow hit him near his throat. “HELP" IVOR YELLED but no one came to his aid.



chapter 9 Passing of a king
"RUN!!!!" said Kentex as he saw the arrow's


"BACK TO THE CASTLE" one yelled

Kentex running back to the castle with arrow's flying around him saw something out of his eye......"ZAMMORK" HE yelled zammrok was running in the castle with his army of Black knights

Kentex ran in the castle looking for any hope to hold the knights off "Saradoimn" I summon you to this battle! He cried.
-------------------------------

mean wile the king dressed up in his white amour caring a bow and his bulright he went out in the castle to see all the men fighting for there life’s

he had seen a flash of red roabs among the chaos of men fighting zammrok had fought through on of the line to see the king taken on 2 giants with that zammyrok casted fire wave lifting the king up with a dazzling light show of white and red

the king's face was melting, and his amour was Turing red like blood then the king fell in front of the great warrior the king picked up his weapon and charged toward the god with all his might....zammork evaded the blow and hit him on the head with his staff sending the king in to the Black knights sharp spear.

"AAAAAAAAA" SAID THE king in blasting pain as his blood slowly dripped down the side of the wall .


chapter 10 hope returned


it had been 1 day since the siege of varrock, Kentex and what was left of the men had hidden in a room hoping to hold them off for a little longer.

"HELP ME" some screamed has there life’s faded in to the abyss

just them the heard a horn booeeoeoeoeoeo it screed with all its might


Kentex yelled, "We have still hope look"

what those 19 men saw where thousands of elf’s running toward the castle with sharp spears and long bows. At the head of them riding a white horse with a green cape was the god Guthix holding a staff in one hand and a long curved green sword with gems incrusted in the hilt. And from the north was a second horn lead by the leader of the white knights and the god Saradoimn.

"RETREAT" yelled zammork
"CHARGE “yelled guthix as his spell hit many and the elf's ran toward the knights fearing no death!



Kentex ran out of the castle yelling, “LOOK… dragon!!!!!" a black dragon came down swiping up many elf’s....kentex ran slicing down as many Black knights as he could to reach the dragon. The elves had begun the onslaught of zammy army.
When kentex had reached the huge dragon he had killed some elves and was already in a battle with the god Sara, whom was a great fighter slashing and hitting him with his bolts of magic.
Then the dragon lifted up on his hind legs and let out a ball of fire causing the wizard’s robs to catch fire and then knocking him with his wing, the god fell back kentex picking up a spear charged and hit the beast quickly whipping out his sword stabbing the dragon in the neck. Killing it!

kentex ran over to see saradomin standing up "I am all right" he said, "I had to go and get help from Guthix, if we where going to win"
"hold on....what was the shadow we saw in falldor?"

"It was zammrock’s most powful army. Made up of former people skeletons and shade's...he will return with a bigger army...but we will hold the lines at all cost.
Guthix will leave his army here to patrol the city. I must go and get Allies together if we are to win this war!

"We are at war"? Kentex said, “yes...begin rounding up the surviving men!"

"Yes sir"

“But before Zammrock attacks again he first must clean out the last of the dwarf stronghold”

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 Post subject: Register and login to get these in-post ads to disappear
PostPosted: October 2nd, 2007, 4:23 pm 
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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2007, 4:40 pm 
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I see many spelling, capitalization and grammar mistakes, but it is an "okay" story.

I would just like to tell you that you should probally put more effort into your storys. It will help a lot.

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PostPosted: October 3rd, 2007, 11:50 am 
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Joined: August 15th, 2005, 6:23 pm
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RS Name: Mckennant
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Clan Name: Bloodshed
Steven wrote:
I see many spelling, capitalization and grammar mistakes, but it is an "okay" story.

I would just like to tell you that you should probally put more effort into your storys. It will help a lot.




you dont know how much effort I put into my storys so you really cant comment on that.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 4th, 2007, 10:18 am 
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Mckennant wrote:
Steven wrote:
I see many spelling, capitalization and grammar mistakes, but it is an "okay" story.

I would just like to tell you that you should probally put more effort into your storys. It will help a lot.




you dont know how much effort I put into my storys so you really cant comment on that.


No indeed, we can't comment on how much effort you put into writing your stories. HOWEVER, we can comment on how much effort is put into certain aspects of it. You clearly put quite a bit of thought and time into it, but not as much into display purposes.

If you would like some advise for your continuation (it's actually not bad), it would be just to read the entire thing out loud to yourself before you post it after you finish typing. You would be surprised as to how much you will instinctively and almost unconsciously change, add, and manipulate if you do that. In fact, read it TO someone. A friend, a family member, a pet, a plant, even an imaginary character sitting next to you in some alternate dimension.

That's my advice. Keep up the good work.

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PostPosted: October 20th, 2007, 1:30 pm 
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RS Name: Mckennant
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Ok Thanks For the help .With in the next few days I'm going to be posting fop part 2 and 3 along with the release of a brand new FOP site with news and info about the storys

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