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Did you like the first chapter?
Yes 39%  39%  [ 11 ]
Yes 39%  39%  [ 11 ]
No 11%  11%  [ 3 ]
No 11%  11%  [ 3 ]
Total votes: 28
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 Post subject: The Story - 2ND CHAPTER RELEASED .:: MUST SEE ::.x
PostPosted: February 1st, 2005, 9:19 pm 
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Introduction:

Long ago, in a mystical world called Rune Scape, there was a King who ruled, where no one dared to betray him, but this king wasn't a tyrant. He was kind hearted, but was a organized man. His name was Ranagorn. He lived in a Castle that was far bigger then anyone in the Rune Scape World. The King had ordered this after the "Great Burning."

The Great Burning:

The Black Knights were terrorizers of Varrock and Lumbridge. They would invade Varrock all the time. Steal from the markets, destroy shops, and kill people! One day, The Duke of Lumbridge had ordered all of his people to take shelter under the bridges of Lumbridge. When the Black Knights did come there came a big shock that the Duke only noticed. There was a Black Knight with Shining Gold Trimmed Black Armor. But there was only 1 Set in the world. How could've these thieves get a hold of it. It was locked away with a Guard Dog protecting the outside and Magicians inside and monks with dragon long swords. There was no possible way. And then, When that Black Knight thought that no one was around, took of the helmet. There in that tremendous shining armor was The King of Varrock. The very King that swore to protect his Kingdom by any means even if he had to get killed defending the Kingdom's Honor! Then and there the King ordered that Lumbridge Castle be burnt until all the wood be in flames until only the butler's shed remain. And there that day The Duke's Family honor was destroyed. The Duke and his ancestors were the the founders of The Great city of Varrock, and Faladore and Lumbridge. The first King of Asagarnia chose Lumbridge because of its grassy, isolated, peaceful place, and there was to be no destruction there. But he didn't realize by handing over The Varrock Castle would be a grave mistake.

The Death of the Duke

After a while there were a lot of complaints toward the king and how the kind didn't order the White Knights to attack the invaders. A lot of questions arise with the public not knowing what had happened and because of this they were miserable because of the death of there family members. Finally after a little boy came up to the Duke after the burning and asked where his father was he looked over and the father had been caught in the massacre. He shielded the little boys eye and started to cry himself. He made a promise to himself that he would give the punisher's a severe punishment that they would wish they were not black knights. And the king would be in the dungeon of Lumbridge for years until he went on the straight path. Unfortunately his ambition for justice was the cause of his death. Seeking justice and informing every single citizen in the Rune Scape world that the King was the leader of the Black Knights, he was slaughtered in the middle of Varrock! And no one said anything or spoke up and just watched the king get slaughtered. Finally a voice arose, "EH! If thy wants to live thy shall put its sword down and move away, to meet his death!"
This voice came from the dukes teenage son, Ranagorn. He was known for his bravery throughout towns. But his father's last words made him fall to the ground and step back, while the King stabbed the rune dagger right through his heart. The duke had said:
"Ra...Rana...AAAAH! Ranagorn... you .. you must.. AH!...you must not hurt anyway while im..ah!.. alive..drop your swo...sword.. AH! at least before...ahhh!.. before I die....I know that ..that ....that my son stood for me....Good bye.......... _________________________________________

(The Black Knights trample the duke with there horses)

says in a soft voice.."I will bring justice without RuneScape"
The king smirks at Ranagorn..
Ranagorn walks smirking back at the king knowing that the king will be at his mercy!

-------------------------------

All content was written by "Hero" from RuneScape Bits & Bytes for RSBB Only. NO CONTENT IS TO BE TAKEN WITHOUT PERMISSION!

________________________________

I just wanted to promote stories for RS at RSBB because there fun to write and make up.

(NOTE: This story is fictional for the Game Rune Scape)

Check back here for Chapter 2!

Oh and rate the story in the polls!

- The Hero


Last edited by Hero on February 4th, 2005, 2:31 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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 Post subject: Register and login to get these in-post ads to disappear
PostPosted: February 1st, 2005, 9:19 pm 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 1st, 2005, 10:13 pm 
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Your world choice and sentence fluency could be better...

C+

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 10:02 am 
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a good story :)

however you need to use spellchecker a bit lol :lol:

anyways, seein as were giving grades lol,

B

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 10:32 am 
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Try paragraphing.

C+

"How could've these thieves get a hold of it."

How could've these thieves gotten a hold of it.

And correct grammar.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 10:36 am 
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ye still tho, its an ok story, just use a spellchecker and ull b fine. cant w8 4 part 2 lol!

B+

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 10:43 am 
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Nice story -> B

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 Post subject: Register and login to get these in-post ads to disappear
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 10:43 am 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 2:16 pm 
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Thank You for your constructive critisizm lol, see I'm not that good at LA.. Average: B-

Ill use spell check. Im starting on part two :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 2:18 pm 
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Done. :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 4:41 pm 
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Location: Toronto, eh??
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Story content = A-
Format/punctuation = B-

Same as every1 elses comments, but great story. Looking forward for 2nd chapter...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 2nd, 2005, 8:21 pm 
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B- Nice and interesting story! :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 3rd, 2005, 12:50 pm 
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Nice Job a definite B though because well it's been stated.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 3rd, 2005, 4:20 pm 
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Sweetness. Well I think in the previous post I said ill get started on the second chapter then but things came up and I forgot to write it but anyways Ill do it after I offer my prayers. (I am a Muslim <FYI)

Thanks for your patience,
-Your Hero :P

Average Grade: B+


Last edited by Hero on February 3rd, 2005, 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 3rd, 2005, 4:39 pm 
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Um ok... but you graded your own thing? lol

A-

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 3rd, 2005, 5:01 pm 
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Lol! OMG lol my bad I forgot to add AVERAGE lol....


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Next Section added...The Death of the Duke!

Please dont double post.
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 3rd, 2005, 9:54 pm 
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