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Only in America

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Author:	killer11 [ September 27th, 2005, 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:	jokes
lets say some jokes... but try not to put rude 1's

Author:	Adbot [ September 27th, 2005, 9:31 pm ]
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Author:	Vitalising [ September 28th, 2005, 10:44 am ]
Post subject:
no *** jokes please [david]

Author:	Her Illusion [ September 28th, 2005, 11:04 am ]
Post subject:
What?

Author:	dknifton2004 [ September 28th, 2005, 11:21 am ]
Post subject:
sorry but no matter what racism jokes is not allowed if we let a joke go past some one else can carry it on and this may offend somebody i edited your post u can still post other jokes but no racism someone is always offended =\

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Author:	Robbie [ September 28th, 2005, 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Vitalising wrote: chavs are hardly a race keyword - hardly. still is one though, k?

Author:	Adbot [ September 28th, 2005, 3:46 pm ]
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Author:	Chris [ September 28th, 2005, 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:
K, get back on topic before we start a flame war. Also this seems to be more discussion rather than media. Top 10 Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers 10) Pretend you don't speak English. 9) Say "Hold on," then scream to a nonexistent person: "If you try to take the knife out, it'll just hurt worse!" 8) Burst into tears when money is mentioned. 7) Ask if the deal is good for all your personalities. 6) Tell them you'll accept their offer if they can guess your color of underwear. 5) Repeat everything they say in the form of a question. 4) As soon as they identify themselves, say, "You guys are still in business? Well, I guess the bomb has another 30 seconds." 3) Tell them the restraining order applies to phone calls as well as physical distance. 2) Mutter: "Aww, ****. Not another one. The last Jehovah's Witness almost got me the death penalty." 1) HANG UP THE DARN PHONE!

Author:	Dave [ September 28th, 2005, 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Heh those are some good ones Chris. I usually pick up and talk to them until a certain point. Then I just wait for a while so they start asking, "are you there?" Then I either hang up or they hang up first.

Author:	Kronic [ September 28th, 2005, 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:
1.Wizard.1 wrote: Heh those are some good ones Chris. I usually pick up and talk to them until a certain point. Then I just wait for a while so they start asking, "are you there?" Then I either hang up or they hang up first. lol yeah i do that too or sometimes when its the long-distance telemarketers, i play stupid and act like i dont know what long-distance calls are, and they spend half and hour explaining it (it takes them forever to realize your not listening and hung up the phone )

Author:	Robbie [ September 28th, 2005, 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:
So these 2 muffins are baking in an oven, when one of them says...it's getting hot in here! then the other says..."woah! i didn't knoqw muffins can talk!!!" Laugh!

Author:	Kronic [ September 28th, 2005, 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:
OK here are some helen keller jokes, im sorry if they offend anybody but i think some are kinda funny 1) How did helen keller burn the side of her face? she answered the iron. how did she burn the other side? they called back. 2) Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. 3) How do you Punish Hellen Keller? 1- Reareange the Furniture 2- Give her a basketball and tell her to read it. 3- tell her to find the corners in a round room 4) Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she! If any of these offend anybody, mods feel free to take them out

Author:	Chris [ September 28th, 2005, 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:
Only in America 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures". 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Author:	The Killer [ September 29th, 2005, 3:54 am ]
Post subject:
me mental2 wrote: So these 2 muffins are baking in an oven, when one of them says...it's getting hot in here! then the other says..."woah! i didn't knoqw muffins can talk!!!" Laugh! Kinda lame since the other muffin can talk too..

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Author:	blowzle [ September 29th, 2005, 7:02 am ]
Post subject:
Chris wrote: Only in America 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures". 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. 11. Only in America.....do they have elevators up to the gym. LOL i just thought of that 1