This awesome story was taken from the official rs forums.. its under rants
Dharok: Pass me that pot of beans, Ahrim.
Ahrim: What do you think I am? A mage or something? Get Karil to do it...
Verac: You ARE a mage... Just use your quarterstaff to push it to him.
(Ahrim tries to push the pot that's set over the fire)
Ahrim: Um... is any one here a mage? My staff just got set on fire...
Guthan: *Sigh* You're hopeless...
Karil: I'll get some water for it.
Dharok: Sit down, runt! You can't even lift a sword! Never mind a bucket of water!
(Ahrim smacks Guthan over the head with the staff)
Ahrim: THAT'S for saying I'm useless! Ooo look! The fire went out!
Karil: I'll prove myself to you all!
Torag: Yeah. I got an idea. You can do dishes...
Karil: I meant as a warrior!
Torag: The dishes are waiting, kid!
(5 bowls are tossed at Karil's feet)
Ahrim: The fire went out! Who can light the campfire!
Guthan: Why don't we use a MAGE?!
Ahrim: Because we don't HAVE a mage!
Guthan: Yes we DO!
Ahrim: Well he must be pretty stupid for letting the fire go out!
Guthan: Yeah Ahrim... you are.
Ahrim: What was that?
Guthan: Nothing... just... go back to sleep.
Next day!
Guthan: The enemy is near.
Verac: Hm. They have exquisite armour.
Guthan: Nothing we can't handle.
Dharok: My axe will smash them to bits!
Guthan: The second my spear impales them, their life is mine.
Ahrim: I'll lower them to nothing more than puppies!
(Haystack blows across the floor)
Guthan: Yeah.... moving on....
Dharok: Yeah.... when you figure out how to cast a spell...
Verac: No armour can hold me back!
Torag: They can't smash through my defence nor can they run from me.
Karil: I can lower their agility!
(The 5 brothers stare at him)
Karil: What? WHAT?!
Guthan: Well that would work... in a mountain!
Torag: If I want to see a mountain goat fall, I'll keep you in mind.
(The enemy attacks)
Guthan: I've killed 12 so far, and at full health.
Enemy: I WILL KILL YOU!
Dharok: NOT LIKELY!
(Dharok leaps from a tree and cracks the armour down the middle)
(Ahrim is frozen solid)
Ahrim: Why do I get the mage?! I can't do anything! He's using some kind of ice to hold me back!
Guthan: ....
Verac: Uh... our own mage doesn't know how to use magic...
Ahrim: What?
Guthan: Just cast the power in the runes...
Ahrim: Slowly now...
Guthan: Hold the runes.... and use the power against the enemy...
(Ahrim launches a small icicle)
Ahrim: I did it!
(Torag holds out a drink)
Torag: Thank you.
Karil: Now's my chance to prove myself!
(Karil leaps in the way)
Karil: Now who wants to look like a porcupine first!?
(Karil gets frozen)
(Dharok comes from behind the mage and kills him)
Dharok: Nice work, Karil. Your own armour can't keep that mage back.
Karil: Well I killed all the other rangers and a few of the melee!
Dharok: Don't do no good when you're frozen.
Karil: One day...
Torag: Keep dreaming. You'll never be as good as us.
Ahrim: GUYS! I DID IT! LOOK!
(Ahrim casts a spell and freezes all the brothers)
Guthan: Thanks Ahrim... Now please try to keep it for THEM!
Karil: They're retreating to the mountain pass!
Guthan: Give me.... just FIVE more minutes to defrost...
Torag: Oh great... why did we ask for ice spells from Ahrim?
Ahrim: What? I changed my staff specifically for you lot!
Dharok: Really? Can I see your staff for a minute?
Ahrim: Ok.... here.
(Dharok snaps it in half and hands him the pieces)
Dharok: There. STICK TO YOUR OLD STAFF!
(After a quick defrosting caper and a night of rest, the Brothers pursue them to the mountains)
Mountain goat: Baa!
Torag: Hey Karil...
Karil: Shut up Torag...
Torag: It's a mountain goat!
Karil: I know that Torag...
Torag: Gonna make him fall?
Karil: You're so easily amused...
Torag: Haha.... I know.... wait... WHAT?!
Guthan: Cut it out. Both of you.
Torag: That's YOU told...
Karil: He meant you too...
(The enemies are ready to attack)
Guthan: Hm. This will be difficult.
Ahrim: Right! DIE!
Verac: Mountain goats...
Karil: What?
Guthan: Verac's right. Karil. Mountain goats. They're nothing but mountain goats.
Karil: Ah I see.
Ahrim: See what?! I CAN'T SEE! I'M BLIND!
(Guthan removes the hood from his eyes)
Dharok: CHARGE!
Karil shoots down many, lowering their agility so low, they can barely stagger to a pub for a quick
drink on a straight road.
Dharok tears them to pieces in his wounded rage, blinded by hatred.
Guthan composes himself, killing many calmly and flawlessly.
Verac made light work of their Rune Golem.
Torag also made their Rune Golem into armour for mortals.
Ahrim gave up on ancient magicks, and was barely tickled by their weakened army.
Conclusion: Unless you're on a mountain pass, you're useless, Karil.
Ecks dee.
